the crack in my world

Submitted by E on Wed, 02/11/2015 - 03:32

it hit me now
like a mac truck
my clothes still smell like you
i'm burying my nose in my sweater
so that maybe i can memorize
your crisp cologne
"i'm not leaving yet," your muffled voice in my shoulder
"i know, i'm just sad," all i could muster
your arms tight around my ribcage
i was grateful that you knew
i needed to hold on for a while
then rush out the door as fast as i can
throw myself into the front seat before
i lose it
the torrential downpour
the not ready to let go
the why is february so short?
your cologne is fading from my sweater
i'm not ready, i haven't remembered it yet.

Author's age when written
18
Genre
Poetry
Tags
love
friendship
truth
Notes

For a good friend I'm not quite done with yet.

Comments

Damaris Ann

Wed, 02/11/2015 - 04:17

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Pretty good flow. I'm sorry that you have to go through things like that.
I don't mean this as criticism or anything but I would like to say that after reading you and Kass's poetry about your boyfriends/relationships I understand and appreciate even more the fact that I don't date. So much heartbreak! It's hard to imagine how much "breaking up" hurts, I guess it's sorta the same as a failed courtship, and I hope I never go through one of those.

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

E

Wed, 02/11/2015 - 04:41

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Oh no, no, I'm not dating either! Haha. I've never had a boyfriend and don't really plan to anytime soon. It's important to grow into your own person first. Plus, I don't really have the time to commit to a romantic relationship anyhow! This is about a very close friend who is leaving in the coming months and how I am not quite ready for that yet. Thanks for reading! :-)

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Kassady

Wed, 02/11/2015 - 04:53

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Damaris! Your comment made me laugh unexpectedly. Despite the short pain felt by breaking up with the only one boyfriend I had, and trust me it was short pain, I think the good out weighed the bad. The experience was very beneficial! Honestly, I think I write more of the pain of loving someone who I have not had a close relationship with them like a courtship or "dating"ship. It hurts more yearning for someone from a distance than having them and realizing they aren't right for you. Please, do not put thoughts of dating or courtship out of your future, just guard your heart and learn from your experiences ;) plus, you really can't really measure the amount of pain by reading poetry, at least not mine, because I know I dramatize and over romantisize it (I feel like I have horrible grammar and spelling in tht last sentence!)

Erin, this is lovely and heartbreaking! I feel like I can only guess at the situation, but I feel like I know and it really is heartbreaking! Best of luck to your friend! May guardian angels watch over him/her. The way you wrote this was perfect and really captured the sentiment.

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Maddi

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 22:15

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"your cologne is fading from my sweater"
My favourite. Heart-wrenching-ly-beautiful-ness- right there.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Damaris Ann

Thu, 02/19/2015 - 23:16

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Don't worry, Kass, I'm not going to avoid courtship for fear of "breaking up". ;) I actually embrace the idea of/look forward to courtship and marriage someday, if it is the will of God.
But to me it is pointless to date or court without the intent to marry, even if it is sanctifying in the end. I heard this quote from Jefferson Bethke reacently that sums it up pretty good. It's this: "To date without the intention to marry is like going to the store without money: you eaither leave unsatisfied or you wind up taking something that isn't yours".

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.