I. Friend
Worrying about this situation
Is taking up a significant portion
Of my time
Thinking my way through every
Possible scenario, worry eats me up
Then dissipates, I let it fade
Only 18 more days of this to go.

II. Rejection
I'm more disappointed than I anticipated
Even though this is just about what I expected
Could I even be relieved?

III. Better with Age
I look at myself then, I look at myself now
I like me better these days
I'm not so lovelorn
So sad, so desperate
I'm formulating my own ideas
About what love is and what it means
I am in no hurry
Like I was
And I like that.

IV. Friend II
Five days
The wait is nearly unbearable
Five days
Until I know you're okay
Five days
Until I get to see you
Five days
Until I can confirm to myself
That I might
Never mind.

V. Friend III (Reunion)
My heart catches in my throat
This high, elated feeling
You are here
And this is exactly what
I had hoped it would be
I can't stop smiling, I just want to laugh or shout or I don't know what
I am so happy in this moment and every moment after.
Hello, today, I like you

VI. Friend IV (Relive on Repeat)
I want the same excitement
You tackled me with
The kind of hug that rocks us
Back and forth
The tight squeeze of your arms
Around my ribs
I want to tell you again
How glad I am that you are here
I want to feel that elated, that high
For another day.

VII. New Year's Resolution
You look so
I don't know
I think I will
Regret saying anything
But I'll also regret it if I don't
You have a way of
Making everyone feel special
Am I any different from her?
You told me many months ago
That you were thinking about it
I want to ask you if you still are
You tell me she's childish
Frustrating with good moments
But I see how you look at her
And I think that is part of her appeal
I want you to be happy, I do
But I want me to be happy, too.

*I just found the poem below. I think it was written around August. I don't even remember writing it, to be honest. Lol*

I.
Want
Is the curve of your neck
How it meets your spine seamlessly.
Need
Is the click of your pen
When you brush by
I'm not even on your mind.
Love
Is the freckles on your cheeks
The gravelly rhythm
of your voice.
Release
Is her engagement ring
And the glow in your eyes.
To let go
Is to let your name slide down
My recent call list
To stop watching you
Like a lovelorn twelve year old
To let you need me
When you need me
And to let us just be friends.