Overexposed/Wild

Submitted by E on Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:34

I. Overexposed
Lying exposed in the fluorescent box
Surgical paper crinkles against my back
Impersonal hands press soft tissue
Those intimate parts of me no one is supposed to touch
Inhale, she says, I breathe in hand sanitizer aroma
Exhale, she says, I breathe out the sterile remains
Removes the ice metal from my ribs, the signal of the end
Put on my shirt and I'm no longer a lab specimen
They call a "patient".

II. Wild
its own blue quiet
up sky high
violet shadows sweep
down to a bottomless grassy floor
pines climb sideways
take their own way up the rocks
pavement feels foreign here
in a place with no cars
its own blue quiet
only a mountaintop can provide.

Author's age when written
17
Genre
Poetry
Tags
poetry
life
nature
freedom
writing
truth
doctors
discomfort
wilderness
Notes

Hope y'all like these! I'm actually pretty happy with them.

Comments

Lucy Anne

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 22:26

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These are really really good, Erin! I love both of these! They are so good! :) Love them!

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kassady

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 00:08

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Love!!! Both are wonderfully vivid and well worded!!! More?

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

E

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 23:40

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Thanks, y'all! <3

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Sarah Bethany

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 04:03

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So vivid and intense, and the first one is painful... You captured the invasion and "over-exposure" well: I actually winced. The second one is going perfectly with the "Wuthering Heights" soundtrack I'm listening to!

Hannah D.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:41

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I really like "Wild" . . . it's such a familiar feeling for me and you captured it beautifully. And "Overexposed" made me cringe with its robotic apathy. The images in both evoke a lot of feeling.

Maddi

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 05:20

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Ditto to Sarah Bethany. I think these are some of your best. I got chills reading Overexposed. And I just loved Wild too.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh