Reap What You Sow

Submitted by Madeline on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 00:42

I can't rationalize the welling
Disappointment in my throat
I'll never be like them, you know
Far away I'm a blur in your vision
Up close I move to the peripheral
If only I could finally reap what I sow

But dear, quite frankly
If it involves you I don't

Author's age when written
16
Genre
Poetry
Notes

Short little poem! <--I've used that phrase right there so much that when I type it in my computer remembers it. *sigh* Rhythm feels a bit off in this one. Critiques welcome!

Comments

E

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 12:23

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I like the vibe, but I see what you mean about the rhythm. The first three lines seemed to have one going, but then it changed on the fourth. I'll bet if you keep messing with it, you can figure it out :)

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Kassady

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 23:17

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Ditto to Erin! But the rhythm didn't throw me off that much. It was nice! I liked it a lot!!!!

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Maddi

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 04:57

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The rhythm didn't throw me off either.
I really liked this!

"But dear, quite frankly
If it involves you I don't"

Ooh, I just really like that.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh