Monday.
He made things happen for me today
His blue eyes smiled from dawn till dusk
He told me I’d do good things
I believed him and I still do
I’m on cloud nine right now
I’m feeling so much less empty
Not so alone
Things are finally coming together.

Tuesday.
I like my new friends
I’m busy
All the time
With school, with work
They fit into my schedule
Conveniently
Like puzzle pieces

Wednesday.
Another day, another dollar
At the end of the day I’m tired
Mom and I watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower
It’s perfect
New favorite movie
I’m happy that tonight ends on a high note

8am Thursday.
Email in my inbox
Has my name on it
A well planned letter
Feels more like an intervention
My old friends and I have been drifting apart
For quite some time now
I didn’t realize that it had quite come to this
To “address changes in my behavior”
She is not my school counselor
But a lot of what she had to say was true
But she made it sound like my own fault
Like she hasn’t done the same thing for longer
Now I’m just feeling both guilty and betrayed
That they are concocting this story about my intentions
That they didn’t know me well enough to know I wouldn’t do that
Just as I was starting to feel better
This week that started out so good
Doesn’t seem like it’ll end that way.

10am Thursday.
Text my best friend
Is she angry, too?
I am expecting a no
But I receive the opposite
I try to explain my side of things
I don’t mean to sound angry, but I am
We fight and argue
For the first time ever
Boom.
Just like that
She cuts it off, severed like a piece of twine
It’s so sad for me to think that 14 years of friendship
Can end so abruptly
I guess people burn bridges
A helluva lot quicker than they build them
I don’t know why the blame is being thrusted on me
Obviously this has been building for quite some time
I’ve been sitting here feeling lost, stressed, and friendless
For basically the past year
I’ve been wondering why I felt so ditched
At least now I know
But I would never have dreamed of it ending like this
Not in a million years.

2pm Thursday.
I still want to be friends is what I said
But is that really true?
I don’t want to be a formality
None of us deserve it
2011 was a good year but I’m not fourteen anymore
I’m getting older, we’re getting older
It’s time for us to get a move on with our lives

6pm Thursday
Horses and a camera have a special way of making a girl feel better
I love the click of my lens and the sound of my buddy’s hungry whinny
I get a few good shots in while the lighting’s nice
Then I hug my horse and he hugs me back
Lets me cry in his mane and stroke his soft coat
Horses make the best BFFs
I’ll stick with animals from now on.

9pm Thursday.
It’s amazing what the SNL Halloween Special, new jeans, and Rolos can do
I’m feeling less guilty, less sad
Is it crazy if I even feel relieved?
I’m losing everything
But this way I might finally be able to start fresh
I think I’m feeling so not-awful because I know
That I’m being the bigger person here
I haven’t seen them because I have responsibilities
Responsibilities that admittedly eat my life
I have a car payment to keep up
A horse to care for
And a lot of catching up on school to do
If I’m going to the universities I want
I feel okay
Because I’m not the one making this decision
Sure, I still wanted to be friends
But were we really even friends if they think I would do that?
It’s not even worth it.

Friday.
It’s so good to feel appreciated
Since I basically felt like dirt yesterday
He told me at least twenty times
That I was the most amazing person alive
Even though he was exaggerating
It was refreshing to be important
He has the most amazing way of making me feel better
Without having a clue what’s going on
It felt so good to put that smile on his face
At least I did something right for somebody.