Thin tail of mist
You can taper off
If you'd like
I won't mind
If you go quietly
Just so you fade
Without my awareness
Because if I knew for sure you were leaving
If I knew for sure you were going away
If I knew for sure you were gone
I might want you to come back to stay
But that, as you know, would be all kinds of wrong
Of What I'm Certain
It's funny how warm this place can be
Looking back through old comments and smiling
Friendly banter, slight debating
Support in the best way
Where would I be without this place or
These people it's strange
To think about how so many things lead to so many things
I feel like I know everyone when really
We all know nothing
Grain
He is
Sand in my eye
Grain pressing down hard
Scraping, scratching
Like a wayward contact
Worse
More pressure
I feel it sliding across the surface like
Liquid nails
He never keeps them short enough
He never makes me strong enough
And I am never weak enough
For him
He is
Sand in my eye
The littlest rock and I'm
Going to have to blink it out
Awakened
I think
I am feeling
About you
Something different
I think
I am feeling
About you
Something new
I think
I am feeling
That
I am perfectly able to fall in love
If and when and where I want to
I'm a girl and we dream and are
Embarrassingly open at times
I think
I am feeling
That there is no great genius in this
I only write what comes to my head
And moreover
They're musing on
Something with a name five letters above my own
Oh, I just gave myself away
Belief in Impossiblities
I can't say I get it entirely
I'm excited about exciting things
I have exceptional imagination and
I believe I have an unflinchingly honest way
Of looking at things
All the while composing a more appealing scenario
In the warmest corners of my brain
Sick and Unsatisfied
None of these feel good enough
To me
None of these are right
What I'll Admit To
I close my eyes and put words in his mouth
I google our astrological signs to see how we'd get on
Even though
I turn my nose up at some of those things
There is no way I know but a
Homeschooled weirdo can only hope
How tragic a story that
Even the protagonist knows better
I'm supposed to be a good writer
Um
he is
Well, I'd love to be his friend
I think I have
really pretty eyes
and I don't even feel vain for saying it
because it's true
and my hair was piled high, off to the side
I pulled my shirt tight against my skin and
I almost looked perfect
Or close enough to close enough to it
So not quite
Baby Steps
let me down and
pull me aside
no sincere sorry; you don't seem to mind
let me up and
hold on to me tight
we're clinging to the one thing we know in this life
let me win and
finally be right
good things come in threes but to get there takes time
despite that when counting three's not very high
I'm Pretending To Be Absolute
You are going to fall in love with me
With the way my pale dress hits just above the knees
With my eyes and lashes, au natural and dark green
With the slope of my jaw and the whites of my teeth
With my mind and my wit
Or possibly lack thereof it
With my way and my gift
Although it's never much
I'd still write a poem for you
And you'll love that, too
aych IV
Jus everything about me
Like everything about you aych
Like I do
No Substance
You fluctuate
Like weight without weight
Up down around
Everything under the most benign moon
And still I cling to a whisper of you
A mere idea that we just might
Might just
Become more than two infatuated someones
But I am never certain as to whom
Those infatuations are
Designated to
So It's Me
Nobody is ever willing to move on
Forget and forgive for
The sake of it
Like everyone should
But they don't don't and
I think they won't
Instead
We're impossibly separate
I hate having to choose sides
There's a clear divide and I
Must watch as one and two draw lines
Huh
"And I"
Hypocrite
I'm drawing the thickest ones
Converse
I've got a satchel full of shoelaces and you loved--
Are supposed to have loved me by now
When I tied your lips shut with them three months ago
I loved you
Never seems like before and neither is coherent
So I lose your spelling games
Why go up against someone when you know who's lost will lose again
Clouds
He is magnetic in ways unparalleled
I imagine stepping stones that
Go up and up and are for those with
Long legs
Excluding every other wisher of
Ungrantable wishes
From the pedestal that will stand
Opposite his
Around My Heart
You broke my glass
For the millionth time
You're not the first but
I think somehow
You hit the hardest
He Doesn't Like It
"You know
I have a feeling
We're both going to be famous"
Is it bad that I want her to be right?
Yes. This just happened. Feedback?
Comments
Wow, thank you so much! That
Wow, thank you so much! That comment made me so happy--you have no idea. I wasn't sure this batch was on par with the others, so the encouragement was wonderful. :) And especially thank you for letting me know which parts you liked the best! That, especially, is what I'm hoping to get from people. :) Different reactions to different parts of the poetry. You are AWESOME, Erin! Thank you!!
Speechless.
Probably the best batch of poems (and I think I say that every time, but this time is different) Seriously! So beautiful! I'm speechless, I can't decide which one I like best, or bester... or... ugh! They are all so good! I don't think there was one line I didn't like. They were all beautiful! And I'm sorry I can't be more thorough.... it's just... wow! Amazing!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Wow, Kass. Just thank you.
Wow, Kass. Just thank you. So, so much! I am completely shocked by this feedback. Especially since I didn't feel these as much, but I suppose they have more thought put into them, in general. Love ya!!!! THANK YOU!
Wow.
I was surprised. These are really so descriptive. So so good, Homey! I'll give my feedback!
Thin tail of mist: Firstly, I just love the name of this. Second, I love the word taper. And this is perfect rhythm:
"Because if I knew for sure you were leaving
If I knew for sure you were going away
If I knew for sure you were gone
I might want you to come back to stay
But that, as you know, would be all kinds of wrong"
Of What I'm Certain: I love AP too! Oh, and I was absent for 10 days only because I was away on holidays.
Grain: Wow! I am amazed at your description in this one. So vivid.
Awakened: Lovely rhythm. And yes, totes gave yourself away. :)
Belief in Impossibilities is awesome. Love the free-ness of it.
I like the way you write Um. Very good job.
I'm Pretending To Be Absolute: Love this one.
"With the way my pale dress hits just above the knees
With my eyes and lashes, au natural and dark green"
"With my mind and my wit
Or possibly lack thereof it"
I LOVED that rhyme! No particular reason, either.
No Substance: Lovely musings there, m'dear.
So It's Me: :D Good, very good.
I love Converse! Maybe its the fact that I do like converse shoes anyway, but this line is so cool: "I've got a satchel full of shoelaces and you loved--
Are supposed to have loved me by now
When I tied your lips shut with them three months ago"
Clouds: Awesome!
Around My Heart: LOVE it totally. Love it all.
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
Aghhh, I loved so many of
Aghhh, I loved so many of these. Especially Around my Heart, Clouds, Thin Trail of Mist, Grain, Um, Baby Steps, and I'm Pretending to be Absolute.
"Because if I knew for sure you were leaving
If I knew for sure you were going away
If I knew for sure you were gone
I might want you to come back to stay
But that, as you know, would be all kinds of wrong." Yesss
"You are going to fall in love with me
With the way my pale dress hits just above the knees." I just loved the certainty in those two lines.
"Everything under the most benign moon
And still I cling to a whisper of you
A mere idea that we just might
Might just
Become more than two infatuated someones." This little section was probably my favorite out of the whole bunch of poems-especially that last line.
"I've got a satchel full of shoelaces and you loved--
Are supposed to have loved me by now
When I tied your lips shut with them three months ago
I loved you." Okay, maybe except for this section. Lol, I can't decide!!!
"He is magnetic in ways unparalleled." So lovely. I also loved "You broke my glass." It was somewhat jarring (in a good way) because I wasn't expecting the word "glass" at the end, but I like it that way. Overall I really liked these, they seemed very complete and elaborate. Great job!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond