How I Imagine Love

Submitted by Madeline on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 20:50

A hand slipped into the back pocket of my jeans
An unquenched, soft, requited yearning
Lips that dart from my nose to cheek
That’s how I imagine it’ll be

Late night walks taken without fear
Happiness because he’s near
The most satisfying joyful tears
Nights too long, cliffs none too sheer

A fearless fumble without blush
A chest as soft as a pillow plush
Hearts skipping with every single touch
A giggle as we whisper shush

Accusations spilt too swift
A broken, jagged, angry shift
From mad to sad to glad we’ll lift
Away the bad times have been wished

A silent sigh beneath my sheets
Wishing he was next to me
And maybe that we’ll get married
I really love him, I will think

You might call it a fantasy
But that’s how I imagine it’ll be

Author's age when written
15
Genre
Poetry
Tags
hope
life
God
fantasy
love
Notes

Just a quick little poem! :) Thoughts are appreciated.

Comments

Maddi

Thu, 10/11/2012 - 20:57

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Well, it might not be as you imagine it...

Great rhythm, I think you need to fix up this line:

"Nights too long, cliffs none too sheer"

The "cliffs none to sheer" doesn't really help the rhythm. It will probably be a hard one to fix; sorry. :)

How you ended it was great, perfect.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Madeline

Thu, 10/11/2012 - 21:00

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Thanks! Wow--that was quick. :)

Well, I believe anything can be as you imagine it, if you make it so. :D And thanks for pointing out the line. I'm going to leave it as-is, but I do appreciate your feedback. Please don't hesitate to point out any other problems with rhythms in the future. :D Or typos. (Which I have a lot of. :P)

Kassady

Thu, 10/11/2012 - 21:07

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I like it! The first 4 lines didn't really have a rhyme to them when the rest did, but that's the only thing. It's very descriptive in only a few lines!
Cute!

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

E

Fri, 10/12/2012 - 01:20

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Awww, that was so sweet. Also quite similar to what I imagine, although mine is a bit different. I thought the rhythm was nice, and I liked your wording.

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond