Chapter 1.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jake asked me. I just gaped and stared at him, how could... no, no... this was totally not happening! How could I let this happen? How could HE let this happen? How could she let this happen. Ha, like she didn't know I had a crush on him since I was eight. Did she know? Did he know? No.... if he did then... you'd think he wouldn't have started... started... UGH! “I was going to ask you what you thought before, but I was just... you know, taken over with a sudden... something!”

“Jake... I don't... I mean...” YOU IDIOT! “Why?” I asked him. It took all my self-composer to not break-down.

“I just... I don't know. I've liked her for a long time,” he said, shrugging. “She's really really pretty.

I shook my head, feeling a lump form in my throat. It was going to choke me! “Well... yeah, I guess so. But, she's... she's fourteen.”

“So?” he asked defensively.

“So... so your sixteen. That's a two year deference,” I exclaim in disbelief.

“I know how to count, Carlene!” he shot angrily, “What's so wrong with me dating Kate?”

I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up. I didn't want to get in a fight with Jake, but... what was I suppose to do when my childhood crush was dating a girl who was TWO years his junior? “Nothing... but, she's so...she's so girly. Plus, she's a Twi-hard.” Both Jake and I hated Twilight, of course, neither of us read it. But it was suppose to be terrible. That whole vampires vs. werewolves scenario. Bella sounded pathetic as well.

“Well,” he shifted uncomfortably, raising his chin, “What's so wrong with Twilight?”

I gaped at him and shook my head in outrage, “You've gotta be kidding me! You did not just say what I think you just said?”

“I did.”

“What's so wrong with Twilight?” I repeated the question with a disbelieving tone, “We've hated it since forever. There is so many bad things about it.”

“How would you know?” he spat angrily, “You've never read it!”

“Neither have you!” My voice seemed to have raised angrily, I didn't understand why I had this burning hole feeling in my chest. Why was my stomach so... sick?

Jake gave me a slight shrug, “Well... Don't judge a book by it's cover.”

“How about by it's reviews?!” I nearly yelled.

“Most of the reviews are by relegious guys, who probably didn't read it either. I bet they saw 'Vampire' and ran away,” Jake retorted, his nose flaring like it always did when he was angry.

I crossed my arms. I knew my face had gone red, like it usually did when I got angry, “That's offensive Jake!”

Jake put his hands on his hips agitatedly, “Your not relegious!”

“It's still offensive!”

“I don't care!” he shouted back, stepping away from me. I didn't have an answer to this that wouldn't sound childish, so I shut my mouth angrily. We glared at each other, until Jake shook his head, “But Twilight isn't even the point, religion isn't either... it doesn't matter.”

I shook me own head, “Well, I dislike the fact that your dating a fourteen year old... slut!” I spat, it took all my courage to use the word, I hated using that kind of wording, but it was true. I had talked with Kate, you acted like she was a collage girl or high school girl. She dated and talked inappropriately about boys all the time. I of course hated the whole young dating thing, maybe because my mom does... or did until her viewpoint changed quite a bit.

Jake gasped, his eyes widened. “Carlene! That is unnecessary. Speak about offensive.”

I nodded, squaring my jaw, “Well she is!”

“No she's not!” he yelled back.

“Yes she is!”

“No she's not!

“SHE IS!” I screamed, and stomped off in the opposite direction, heading back for my house. This was totally not fair. I could hear Jake making noises of annoyance behind me.

“SHE ISN'T!” he yelled after me and stomped off in another direction. We both stomped up our sidewalks and up our porch steps and then we both slammed our doors around the same time.

*******

The problem with swearing to never see Jake again, is that I live, right next door to him. We lived on the base of a government center. We weren't in those ugly cookie-cutter houses that all look alike and are really boring and plain. No, we live in a small quaint neighborhood where the officers and generals all used to live. They are all historical and stuff, all made with bricks and beautiful wrap-around porches. Our house was huge. Three levels, with beautiful large rooms and a long classic wood staircase. I felt like I was royalty sometimes. The best part was, I got to stay at home all day, sense I was homeschooled. Which was another problem with swearing to never see Jake again. Thankfully, he went to a nearby public school, so, I wouldn't have to see him ALL the time.

“Why don't you go apologize if your so miserable about it?” my mother asked me, turning from her computer screen to look at me with critical eyes that always made me feel uncomfortable. It was just that look that seemed to bore into me.

I shrugged looking away and at the fringe of a pillow. I readjusted myself on the couch that I was sitting on with my mother in the sun room. “I'm still mad at him.”

“For?” my mother asked blinking at me.

I sighed and started picking at the pillow I was now clutching in my lap, “I don't know... You'd think after all this time he would have noticed I like him.”

“Well, you haven't given him much to go on,” she said and turned her head back to her lap-top, probably to reply to one of her patients. My mother was one of those awesome work at home moms, that both took care of her five kids and did what she wanted. She was a certified master life coach, helping people realize what they want and need, not by the past mistakes, but by the present and the future... oh, and also their astrology natal charts, but she doesn't tell many patients about that part. I was her little astrology apprentice, I loved that kind of stuff. Anything metaphysical that made sense and was logical I was into. Like karma, holistic healing, reincarnation and tarot. Yes, you may think I'm a bit crazy, and weird... but who cares? It's not your life, it's mine.

I opened my mouth to argue, but I didn't have a good excuse, “Well...”

My mother rubbed her chin for moment, her eyes riveted to the screen at whatever was on there. She looked back up at me, frowning, “Why don't you just go over and tell him your feelings for him? I'm sure he's at home.”

I glared at her indignantly, like “how could you even say that?” and I was surprised that she did mention it.

She rolled her eyes at me and sighed, “Honey, you might as well give it a try. If he doesn't like you back, then at least you'll know you have tried.”

I stretched out my lips in a tight line in uncertainty and tilted my head to the side, “I don't know...” My mother shrugged and went back to her work. I sighed and looked out the window over to his house. How could I even sum up the courage?

“Honey,” my mother said after awhile of uncomfortable silence, “If you had enough courage to yell at him about Kate, then I'm sure you'll have enough courage to tell him your feelings.”

I blinked in surprise. What she said made sense... and was practical. “Thanks Momma,” I said and got up off the couch, squaring my shoulders and convincing myself inwardly. I called my mom by “Momma” all the time, it just felt awkward to say “Mom” or something else. I felt like it was disrespectful in some way. I know it isn't, and my mom still wonders why I still call her by that title... but it was natural and easy for me.

I stepped out of the sun room and walked through the house to the front door. Well, the two front doors. There was one door on the outside and then a little space between that door and the door that leads into the house, it was a little strange, but very My Fair Lady.

“Carlie!” called out the bright voice of my younger sister. I was the oldest of five, it was me, my sister and then the three boys. What was funny was we were all two or three years apart from each other. “Carlie! Where are you going?”

I sighed and groaned, turning to see her rushing down the stairs, “I'm going over to Jake's, and your not allowed to come Tonia.”

Tonia slumped in disappointment, “Why not? I like Jake.”

“I have something important and private,” I stressed on the word, “to say to him. We got in a fight and I-”

“Why did you get in fight with him?” she interrupted quickly, like she always did.

I sighed in frustration, slipping on some flip-flops, “It's none of your business, Tonia.” I grabbed the door handle and went through the first door. But Tonia was still on my tail.

“Can't you just tell me?” she asked persistently.

I grumbled as I reached the second door and went out into the bright sunlight and the fresh, beautiful spring air of Indianapolis, Indiana. It usually didn't get to hot in Indiana, because it was so far north, but it still didn't mean that we weren't melting in the summer's 89 degrees. “Can you just please, please, not get involved this time. The last time we both got in trouble, so just... just stay out of it.”

Tonia began to tear up, I could see behind me her red face. She was so sensitive and cried about a lot of small things. Sometimes I wanted to slap some sensibility into her, but I understood, sense I was sensitive myself. Maybe not as sensitive as her, but I definitely cried about silly things and whenever I got my feelings, really, really hurt. I guess I was soft from homeschooling and not getting teased and picked on by bullies... gosh, I missed out didn't I? Too bad. “I didn't mean to last...last time,” she spluttered.

I sighed and turned around to console her, “I'm sorry Tonia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,” I crooned gently, “Can you just go back inside please?” She nodded blubbering and went back inside, wiping her face. I sighed and walked on. For a moment I was unsure of what I had gone out to do in the first place, then remembered with a sense of dread. I breathed shakily and stepped up his porch steps. Ringing the doorbell, I waited impatiently, wondering if I should make a run for it before they can open the door. I waited for a moment longer and turned, To bad, I thought sarcastically.

The door opened just as I was turning around and my heart sank, “Carlie!” cried the happy voice of Mrs. Deborah Lease.