The Siren

Submitted by Anna on Mon, 06/02/2008 - 20:47

See our fair rock-carved city
On waves black as tar
Under periwinkle sky
And soft violet stars

That’s where we sit
In time outside of clocks
You’d better avoid us
Or you’ll crash on the rocks

Stop up your ears
Or you may be entranced
And never come back
From our misshapen land

For we are thunderstorms at night
That cause children to hide
We’d love you and kill you
With one song, take your life

We fall in love with our visitors
In the same moment, they die
For the song of a siren
Is both hello and goodbye

We’ve no choice but to sing
But that makes us more deadly
Though it’s enthralling
It’s a lethal medley

So be wary, dear child
If you find waves black as tar
Sky more purple than blue
And soft violet stars

Author's age when written
12
Genre
Poetry
Tags
sirens
Notes

A poem about the famous sirens from the Iliad. Or was it the Odyssey?
And yes, it's kind of morbid...

Comments

Sarah

Mon, 06/02/2008 - 22:06

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This poem is amazing, Anna!
My favorite lines are

We fall in love with our visitors/ In the same moment, they die/ For the song of a siren/ Is both hello and goodbye

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Clare Marie

Tue, 06/03/2008 - 17:21

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This is really good, Anna! I like it alot. Job well done! :)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins [The Lord of the Rings]

Kyleigh

Tue, 06/03/2008 - 17:28

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I really really, like it Anna!

There's only one thing I would change...
"But that just makes us more deadly..."
Except for that line, the whole poem is very... I can't think of the right word. I guess it flows and is in the same style, except for that line.
May just be me, but it seems kind of awkward.

Anyways... keep it up! *hug*

Anna

Tue, 06/03/2008 - 19:56

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Thanks!

I changed the line a little, but I'm not sure exactly what you meant so I'm not sure it helped any...

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

Sarah

Fri, 07/11/2008 - 01:13

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Yeah; that line is much smoother now. :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The quality of mercy is not strain'd;
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blessed;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Anonymous (not verified)

Fri, 08/08/2008 - 05:44

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Hey you guys i'm going to go off subject um this is Shawnie well Velocity and i can't remember my password... yeah may sound stupid but i got a new email acct and how should i get ben to gime my password? can one of u guys get me his email wen u submit something so i can ask him please

-- Shawnie/Velocity

Anna

Fri, 08/08/2008 - 18:13

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Just use the feedback form; it'll get to him.

I hope you can get your password! :/

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

Shane

Fri, 08/08/2008 - 19:46

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I can change it too for you, I have access to the admin panel to help keep spammers down but I can also change user accounts, e-mail me at sjd2000@rochester.rr.com and I'll send you a new password that you can change after you log in.

(also on the other topic this was asked on.)

E

Tue, 09/09/2008 - 22:23

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That's just how I thought sirens would be. I love it!!!!! =D

Falling Leaves-unschooler, horse lover, and obsesser over writing, reading and proper grammar.

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond