This is an essay I wrote for my college history class this past semester. It was an in-class
writing assignment, so please bear in mind that it needs some final polishing and editing, and also that some of the quotations may be incorrect. I am planning on working on it after finals!!

Friendship and St. Augustine

“As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man.”

~Proverbs 21:17

Friendship, according to St. Augustine, is: “…a delightful bond of souls in unity.”
On both the human and divine level, friendship could accurately be said to be the subject of Augustine’s Confessions. Augustine spent a whole lifetime searching for truth, and in doing so, also sought for friendships that were perfect and true.

Aristotle gives three kinds of friendships in the Ethics: utility, friendship and perfect friendship. The first two are concerned only with the moment and what suits a person’s immediate needs. Perfect friendship, though, consists of two (or more) people who are alike in virtue and goodness and constantly seeking truth and goodness for their friend and themselves. In his later years, this was the sort of friendship that Augustine sought for and obtained with Nebridius and Alypius. In this friendship, the three came to live together so that they might search for God together: “He came to Milan in order that we might be together in our fervent search for truth and wisdom.”

I contrast to this beautiful friendship stand the acquaintances of Augustine’s early years. These friendships strove to destroy and tear down, rather than build and guide. A good example of this is the pear tree episode: “I do not recall that we even ate them. The pleasure was more in the perverse joy of doing something forbidden.” Both of these friendships show how easy it is to influence your fellow man for good or ill. True friendships seek to build the other up and aid them in their journey to virtue, while the bad look only to destroy through evil and thoughtless acts. In this way, it is incredibly simple for one to ‘shape’ their friend and lead him either higher or lower, all in the name of friendship.

Perfect human friendships, then, seek the ultimate and highest good: God, and look to bring others to Him. Augustine spent his entire life searching for God: “For our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O God”, and when he finally found God his joy knew no bounds. For, it was in looking for the truth in human friendships that Augustine obtained the greatest friendship of all: friendship with God. It is a friendship that enabled Augustine to lead others to God and shape them through his holy example.