Once upon a time, there was a little mouse. And this little mouse, like all good mice, liked cheese. Unfortunately for this mouse, every time he ate cheese, he burst into flames. Now, this mouse didn’t like to burst into flames, so he went to visit the Wicked Witch of Wherever (having established that the other Wicked Witches were killed by Dorothy), but she told him that she wouldn’t help him, because, you see, she was evil, and she didn’t do those things. So the little mouse went to see Aragorn, and Aragorn said that if the little mouse would help him to help Frodo take the One Ring across the – the – the place where they take One Rings, he would give him a potion to keep him from bursting into flames when he ate cheese. This is a true story, by the way. So, the little mouse picked up a sword and went across Middle-Earth – which I just remembered is the place people take One Rings across – but unfortunately he didn’t make it all the way across. Instead he got stuck in Osgiliath and had to fight orcs! The little mouse decided he didn’t like fighting orcs, so he hid under the city, but since he didn’t keep his promise to Aragorn, Aragorn never gave him the potion, and the little mouse never ate cheese again for as he lived.