I've written on apricotpie for five and a half years, and never once have I gone a month without posting. In fact, I don't recall ever cutting it this close. There are six hours left in the last day of the month and the only thing I have to show you is an essay about how I don't have anything to show you.
Sometimes I worry about my future as a writer.
But not having something to post doesn't mean I'm empty-handed. Due to an inspiring dream the night of May 4th, I have a new story one word shy of 19,000. That's nothing to sniff at. I haven't exactly abandoned my old projects, either. Well, maybe some of them, but most significantly, my Beauty and the Beast retelling gets better all the time.
Sometimes I worry about writing in college.
I'll have to write heaps of essays; this I know. I don't like essays. I like fiction. I like creative fiction, speculative and fantasy and fairy tales and space-time travel... but I knew before I enrolled that Wheaton College strongly prefers nonfiction or realistic fiction. I'll need an outlet for stories about monsters and queens and aliens, but will I have time?
I keep telling myself if I'm miserable, I just won't go back. (Sometimes I worry about my future. But then my friends tell me I'm going to be just fine, and I trust them.)
But I can come back here, right? Whenever I need to, even if I haven't read or written a page in months? 'Cause you guys are important to me. Even more than I wish I had talent for keeping up with my writing, I wish I could keep up with yours. You don't know how many bookmarks I have in my "To Read" folder!
Here's one thing I will always be able to promise you, whether I'm around much or not: “I might not have missed you all the time, but I never forgot you," as Christopher Robin says in Return to the Hundred Acre Wood. I wouldn't be driving off to Illinois to be a Writing major this fall if not for apricotpie. Thank you for everything.