I
Every time I see you
I hang my head in shame
For all the selfish seasons
The times I was to blame

But you look back with love
A picture drawn of grace
Your friendship given freely
A smile on your face

Charity suffers long
The scriptures say; it's true
Charity is faithful
It's been lived out in you

II
A blessing I ask on friends so dear
When I need them they are near
To join in laughter or dry a tear
I know they will be here

Lord, I believe Thy faithfulness sure:
Myself Thou shalt steadfastly secure.
With Thee in me through every trial,
Though my head droop it shall be rais’d higher.

Lord, I believe Thou orderest my way,
Come gloom or gladness; come night or day.
If my faith fail, or I should lose hope,
Thee, Lord canst bear with what I cannot cope.

Lord, I believe that weakness of mine
Is swallow’d in strength of the perfect Divine.
And Thou in Thy love givest to me
The sweet blessed Jesus: all I shall need.

For a humble heart I ask
That I may complete this task
Purge my soul, take pride away
That I with joy might face each day
Give grace for every word I speak
And help me always to be meek
Help me show Your love to all
Lend me strength so I won't fall
Help me speak what's right and true
This shall be my prayer to You

I pulled into the drive and found a spot to park my car. I took the key out of the ignition and put it in my purse. I looked at my hands, palms up. They were shaking and sweating like crazy. I clenched them into fists to steady them and gritted my teeth.
"You can do this," I whispered to myself. "It'll be better this way."

I stand on the plateau and look down. On the left hand I see the twisted and mangled bodies of those who fell. Poor souls. They trusted in their own strength. On the right hand I see those who continue to climb. Some occasionally slip back and some fall even as far as the deepest part of the valley, but all lift holy hands to the heavens in a petition for grace before pressing forward. I have made it across the Jordan River and now I am at the home gates. God is good. God is faithful. I do not deserve to be in this place. I can reach out and touch the Light of heaven from where I stand.

Purpose
Your life has a purpose
Don't ever complain
You must push ahead
Your grumblings are vain
God's given you this day
You must make it your own
All you do and say
Is heard at the throne

Temple
Your body is a temple
Please keep it clean
Furnish with fear, tremble
For God is your king
Purify and make way
Sacrifice your desires of self
Clean them all out
Every one on the shelf

When life is rough it's hard to be tough,
But we must carry on.
We must remember that He is enough;
So we can carry on.
He has given the strength that we need
To bravely carry on.
So we will run and joyfully speed
Our cross to carry on.

The kingdom where I've come
Is under fire
The place where I've been planted
Is in a war

So, Lord, please

Stretch me over this kingdom
When rain drops fall
Bend me into a solid wall
Too tall to climb

Thicken my skin to bare
Each arrow
Strengthen my walk so
I may lead

When it feels I'm called to Ninevah
Lord, keep my gaze upon the innocents

Keep whispering in my
Upturned, waiting ear
"Thou art come to the kingdom
Just for this"

Dear Lord with this I now draw near;
A burden given me to bear.
For strength I ask with my whole heart
That I might carry all, not part.

I am faulty, willing but weak,
That is why Your strength I seek.
So on Your Almighty name I call
Lest under this heavy weight, alone, I fall.

But not quite alone for in silence I hear
That still small voice sounding in my ear.
Reassuring, powerful, sweet and strong;
In my aching heart You give me a song.

July 4th, 2009
Dear Journal,
Today was a good day. The Grays invited Mom and I to go to a fireworks display with them. I sat with Josh and Kelly. When the fireworks started Josh tried to hold my hand so I slapped his hand. He said he was just being friendly so I told him that I didn't like that kind of "friendly" and that if he wasn't careful I would have to stop being around him. So he went back to his old way of being friendly, which I like much better. Kelly just glared at him and told him to leave me alone. She's pretty mad at him for the way he treated Courtney.