...My normally spotless room looks like it suffered a direct hit from an RPG.

...The spiders with whom I am forever making war (my bedroom is in the basement) have recaptured the entire southern sector of my bedroom.

...I have eaten more cereal, raisins, and cheese in the month of December than in the rest of my life combined.

...I haven't posted on Apricot Pie for two months.

...Both of my blogs have been woefully neglected.

...My run-amuck yorkie terrier has eaten two of my dad's leather gloves in the last week.