*My sister, Emma Katherine has written two short stories -- She'd appreciate some comments! :) And Thanks for all of y'alls lovely comments on my story! :D*
Chapter Seven – The Witch
Several days later, I was better and able to get up. I thanked the kind ladies for all their kind help, I left on what would be in our world, August the seventeenth. They gave me plenty of bread to carry with me and warned me that when I came to the stream up ahead, to not drink from it; the waters were poisoned by a witch and many people had died in that way. I made my way down an old overgrown path, which wound into a gloomy forest. I had been given warm clothes to sustain me and a box of matches. As the last patch of sunlight closed around me, I lit a match and put it to a stick to make a torch. I heard a whistling ahead of me, and soon I saw another little light ahead of me. It began to get further away from me, I figured that it must be another human, and I wished that I could catch up with him or her, and have a companion. But then a thought came to my mind, what if it was the evil witch? Then, about thirty feet ahead of me, the light stood still, it went no further. I kept walking, though cautiously. I stopped about one foot behind the person, he or she had a full cloak on with a hood; the person turned towards me, I couldn't make out the facial features of the person. It was a she, she spoke;
“Who are you? And where are you going?” the voice was unwelcoming, and I felt uneasy. I hesitated,
“Who I am is my own business, and where I go is my business.” she nodded her head and said,
“As you wish.” (Did she watch the princess bride or something?!) For several moments, we just stood there saying nothing. Then I said,
“if you want to know who I am, take your hood off.”
“No.”
“fine.” I began walking again, and so did she. And we kept walking, side by side. Neither of us saying anything to the other; then she broke the silence.
“In due time, I shall tell my identity to you. But you tell me your name and where you are going.” I thought for a moment, should I tell her?
“My name is Jess, and I – I am headed to the Land of Iglis, to see the Magician of Iglis. can not you at least tell me where you are headed?”. She turned to me,
“Ah. I suppose it need be no secret where I am headed. I, too, am headed to the Magician of Iglis.”
“Oh. And where do you come from? This World?” She looked shocked when I asked if she was from this world,
“Where else would I be from? Heaven?” She smirked.
“Well, I asked that because.. well, because I am not from this world. That is why I am going to the Magician.” I said.
“You what?! I have never heard of other worlds. What do you mean?”
“I am not from this world. that is what I mean!” I snapped back at her, my patience slowly being lost.
“Where is your world? How'd you get here?” she asked, I could tell that she sounded was more friendly than when she first talked to me;
“I don't know where my world is now, and I have no idea how I got here. I think it had to do something with this ring.”
then I told her the story, and about Kya, the whole time I talked, she was nodding her head thoughtfully, which annoyed me. Then she stopped walking,
“would you like to be companions? I see no reason why we shouldn't be!” I raised an eyebrow,
“okay. Sure! Do you know the way to Iglis, anyways?”
“Yes, I do. I think, at least. I was told by an old lady, and I think I can remember it all. You?” I needed no time to think,
“I remember every instruction that an old woman gave me!” she looked glad of that. We continued down the path, sometimes saying a few words to eachother here and there. But I had a new companion at last, and maybe, just maybe, if she wanted to she could come back to my world with me. Just maybe. We finally found a place to the side of the path that we could sleep on. But I stayed awake, because I still did not fully trust her – whoever she was. And however hard I tried to sleep, the thoughts of her being a witch still haunted me. And all thoughts of her coming with me as a companion soon vanished. When I thought she was really asleep, I got up and began on my way again, being as quiet as I could, so as not to wake her. And I had not gotten very far, before I heard footsteps behind me and heavy breathing.
“Where are you going? I thought we were going to be companions!” I did not look behind me, I just kept running and did not turn back. About an hour later, I finally did look behind me; not a soul was in sight. I let out the breath I realized I had been holding for a long time. I was relieved, but then I realized that it was lonley and dark and scary in the forest. I no longer had a companion with me. I was about to get out a match to see better, and then I realized in my hurry I had forgotten all my things in my fright. But no, I was not going to go back. Then, I turned a corner, and I saw a light ahead of me. As I came closer, I nearly screamed, because there was my 'companion', in her hooded cloak.
“H-h-how, how did you get ahead of me?” I asked, and then hated myself for even asking. She turned towards me and flung her hood off to reveal a haggish face,
“I have ways, child!” her voice had changed into that of a hag, and I knew at once that she was the witch. Then I did scream; I screamed and screamed until there was no breath left in me. I was frozen in fear to the spot I was in, and she just cackled. The next thing I knew was that I was in a dungeon that stunk, and my hands and feet were chained. It was dark. Pitch dark.
“Help me! Someone, please help me!” I yelled as loudly as I could. Not a reply, which is what I should have expected. Then, an idea occured to me. I put my hand in my skirt pocket and my hand brought out my cellphone. I remembered that it only had ten percent of battery left, but I thought I might as well try. What if mom was not home? I turned it on and to my surprise, it had seventy-five percent left, I also had a connection – five bars! I quickly dialed mom's number. It rang, and rang, and rang some more. But I let it ring, even though I was getting less and less hopeful. Then a voice answered it, but it was not moms. I recognized the voice, which terrified me; it was the witch's voice.
“Whatcha want, Jess?” I threw my phone across the floor. I gave up, I would never, ever get back home. I would never, ever see Kya again. I cried and cried, until I couldn't cry anymore.
Comments
Thank you, Benjamin :) I'll
Thank you, Benjamin :) I'll try to refer to y'alls editing "notes" when I edit my story :)
Thanks again! :D And the next chapter will be up as soon as I get another post :D
~Sarah
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths
P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow
:D
Ooo, exciting! I actually got goosebumps up my neck when the witch got ahead of her. Creepy...
And then I loved how you finished. Sounded a bit like the Wizard of Oz. Good job! :)
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
Haha, thanks! :D And I
Haha, thanks! :D
And I watched the wizard of oz for the first time in years...I will NEVER watch it again if I can help it. B.O.R.I.N.G!!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths
P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow
:)
This is...spooking! And thrilling! Looking forward for more....
p.s. Really? I was TERRIFIED of the green witch for years and years! And now, as I am older, I can see that the witch is really just painted. How could have that been boring?? ;)
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank you, Megan! :D And it
Thank you, Megan! :D
And it just bored me. Lol! :D Well, anyways, it bored me so much that I shall never watch it again (if I can help it). ;)
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths
P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow
This story is definitely
This story is definitely getting more exciting as you continue. It is quite interesting.
The main thought I had for improvement I noticed in the first paragraph. Towards the end of this paragraph, it seems as though where you use commas, there should really be separate sentences, or else a smoother transition. This distracted me somewhat from the story and was therefore the main thing I noticed.
The only other thing would really be a matter of rhetoric. At least, that is what we would call it in debate. In the last paragraph, I think you should move the sentences around and close with, "I would never, ever see Kya again. I would never, ever get back home." This would simply make for a better close to the chapter.
Apart from these, it was quite good. I am excited for the next chapter.
“D’ye know what Calvary was? What? What? What? It was damnation; and he took it lovingly.”
~John Duncan