Chapter Five – An Audience with the King
The guard held the door open, and when I looked inside, although I should not have been the least surprised, were ruby walls, emerald floors, and the throne was made of sapphire, and the cushions were (of course) made with wool, and they were covered with the finest velvet that I had ever seen. I was jerked to attention,
“Ahem. You wished to see me?” My eyes turned to the one who had spoken, the King.
“Oh, yes, your highness!” I said, and curtised. I cleared my throat, trying to remind myself that I was in the presence of a king .. not just any king, but apparently one of the most wealthy kings.
“Your Majesty, we, my friend and I. Well, we live in another world, and somehow, when we put on some rings we recieved in the mail, we were sent to your world.” I said, and poured out the whole story, telling him that we really, really both wanted to get home as soon as possible. The king looked thoughtful and then, rubbing his grey beard said,
“I can tell you aren't from this world, your clothes are.. they are different.” He continued,
“let me see the rings.” Kya and I walked up to his throne and put out our hands, he studied the rings thoughtfully.
“Hmm..what are the letters on them for?” he asked,
“Oh, sire, we have not told you our names yet, I forgot.” Kya said,
“I am Kya, and this is my sister .. I mean, this is my friend, Jess.” He nodded,
“certainly not from here. So, I suppose that the letters on your rings are your first initials?” he asked. We shook our heads,
“that is what we think, sire.”
“I am very sorry, but I cannot help you. The only person I can think of who can possibly help you is the Magician of Iglis.” Kya and I looked at eachother and raised our eyebrows, recognizing the word 'iglis'.
“It is far from here. Very far.” The king finished.
“How do we get there, sire?” I asked, and he rubbed his beard.
“I can tell you that, but for me to tell you, you must give me those rings that you wear.” I looked shocked,
“Oh, but sire, what if we need them to get back?” I asked.
“I have said what will be said. Will you or will you not give me the rings?”
“No, sire. We shall find the Magician of Iglis on our own.” I said, and curtseying, Kya and I left the presence of the King. We made our way through the streets and got back to the inn. We entered, and the inn keeper, whose name we had learned was Gannel, was there. We asked him if he knew the way to the Magician, which the answer was a negative. After asking many people, we grew quite weary, for the answers were always no. Then, Kya tapped my arm,
“we can ask her!” She said, pointing to an elderly lady, who was bent over a cane.
“I don't know, Kya...” I trailed off.
“Jess, most all the people we have asked have been young. She is older, she might know the way!” Kya pulled on my sleeve.
“Alright.” I said, and we came up to the lady.
“Hello!” I said.
“Hello, deary!” the old woman replied.
“We were wondering, do you know where we can find the Magician of Iglis?” I asked.
“Well, let me see. I might know where he is.” She said, and I thought I could tell that she was messing around, “oh, please tell us whether you know or not!” I prodded. She smiled an almost toothless grin,
“not many people know where he is, you know? I can not just tell you. You have to give me something in exchange.” I sighed, and I put my hand behind my back so that she wouldn't see the ring; Kya followed my example.
“What about some bread? Can a poor lady have some bread in exchange?” I let my breath out,
“yes of course! I have a loaf of bread you can have!” I gave her my loaf of bread, and she tucked it in her shawl. “Now, to tell you where the Magician of Iglis dwells.” She began,
“'twas very kind of you to give me your bread. And I must tell you that I cannot say precisely where the Magician lives. But you will find him – somewhere in the land of Iglis. First, you must leave the Kingdom of Tallifarth through the secret gate behind the castle. You need a key to get through that gate,” and handed an old rusty key to me.
“From there, you will see the valley of lilies, that is where the little fairy's live. You must be very, very carreful to step only in the place where the lillies do not bloom. Because if you do not, then you could kill many fairy's, which would kill you.”
She told the rest of the directions to us, which I carefully tucked away in my brain. I knew I could never possibly forget what she had told us. Which was a lot! I kept the key tight in my hand as we left her, I could feel the rust rubbing onto my hand. I walked back to the glittering palace, and walked around it to the back. For several minutes I looked up and down every wall in the back of the palace, but I could not see a door. Then Kya pointed out a small hole in the wall, I examined it more closely and could tell that it was a key hole. I slid the key into the hole, and pushed on the wall, it opened. Our eyes blinked, the sun was brighter than any sunlight I had ever seen before, the snow was all melted, too. It took a few moments for my eyes to get used to the light. In front of us were the patches of lillies; apparently Kya had forgotten the words of the woman, and almost stepped in a patch, I grabbed her arm back,
“Kya! Don't be so stupid!” She blushed. We carefully went only on the grass, sometimes just barely missing the lillies. I wiped sweat off my forehead as we got past the lillies, I looked behind me to see if Kya had gotten past the lillies too,
“Kya?!” I turned all around, Kya was nowhere to be seen. I yelled her name as loudly as my lungs could possibly go.
“Kya?! Where are you?!” I started panicking, sweat began trickling down my face. I screamed her name, but still no reply. I had two choices; to go on ahead without Kya, or to look for her. I called her several more times, and then, seeing nor hearing her, I went on ahead. I supposed that she had stepped on a patch of lillies, and been killed or the fairy's had taken her. My only hope to get her back, and to get back home, was the Magician of Iglis.
Comments
:)
Your story has great potential. However, there are alot of grammar mistakes that distracts me, dragging the quality of the story down. Also, some reactions of the characters are unrealistic. They seemed more surprised to see that her mom had called them on the phone vs. that they were just transported into a different world.
What I would say to do now is after writing each chapter, read out the chapter out loud. Keep your eyes out for punctuation and capitalization. Also, there are many sentences that do not make sense. One example.
My only hope to get her back, and to get back home, was the Magician of Iglis.
These are not only in this chapter but the previous ones. So please proofread your work.
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Your writing is definitely
Your writing is definitely getting better. Highness is usually spelled with a capital when talking to someone such as a king. And you missed out on caping sentences a lot in the conversations. Great story line. :)
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh