Into the Future journal, Pt. 1

Submitted by Sarah Anne on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:16

January 4th, 2002
I was riding my bike home from school today when I felt this huge gust of wind! It blew me off my bike and then I went blank, I must have been knocked out! Anyways, I woke up in this really strange place, and So I started walking around, trying to figure out where I was. I definitely wasn't in my yard...or town for that matter.
Around me were the strangest...things...or, contraptions. For one thing, the plants looked...metallic and plastic. But, all the same, they were beautiful plants! I decided I was hungry, and since I had twelve dollars on me, I'd go to a restaurant. I started walking towards a building that looked like a really weird diner, it was called, 'Scifi diner'. I went inside and sat down, and was shocked to see a robot waiting on me. A ROBOT!!! I sighed, "This must be a dream!" I was thinking. I ordered lilac casserole and star water for my food. I looked around, hoping to see a human being, but I was the only one in the diner. I looked around, and then to my utter joy, I saw a young man walk in. He was dressed in the weirdest clothes, though...like, I don't really know what they were. I was just happy to see someone other than robots. He came up to me and started talking, but the weird thing was, he didn't talk English. I just decided to leave then and there because I was getting freaked out! I guess I'll write more later...

Author's age when written
14
Genre

Comments

This was interesting...but I hope this won't be how the world will be in the near future! Robots! Ugh! Metallic and plastic plants? Horrors of horrors!

Okay, I wasn't sure if you make some Grammar mistakes on purpose because this written in a Journal format.

I'm not going to point out all of them but just remember, if you are writing in past tense, you should (in most circumstances) stay in the past tense.

I'll point out some suggestions...

[] is take out, () is put in

..."but the weird thing [is] (was), he didn't talk English"

I guess I'll write more later(.)

Otherwise, you have good imagination. I'm looking forward to where you bring us! :)

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you, Megan! :)
Actually, I didn't really think about the past tense stuff, I guess I wasn't really thinking :D
Thanks again! :)
~Sarah

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
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