*Chapter One*
Walking five miles in the dark, on a rainy night, isn’t exactly my idea of fun. But sometimes you have to do what you got to do. I pull my coat, a thin, worn-out coat my dad had when he was a kid, closer, and shuddered.
A big truck roars past, throwing dirty water all over me. I pull my navy blue hat lower over my eyes, hoping not to be noticed by the driver. Which should be pretty easy; I’m basically ignored unless I’m being teased.
Being the man in my family now makes going to school rough, as well as coming home and doing the farm chores. Otherwise I’d stay in bed, but I got to provide for my family no matter what.
I ran a hand under my nose. I felt a sneeze coming on, but took off my hat and muffled it.
Finally, at home, I get on my knees, physically drained from the five mile walk. I walked, ran and jogged it.
My hands find Mama’s, and I squeeze it gently. I whisper softly, leaning over the bed on my knees. “It’s okay, Mama, God’s with us…He is.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to reassure. Her or myself. She gave my hand a tender squeeze, and in her soft, loving voice she spoke to me.
“Jared, love, I know. God won’t ever leave us…or let us down.” Tears came in her tears, pooling fast, and she took a deep, shaky breath before continuing. “Jared, please be strong for you sisters and brothers. They’ll need you in the coming days.”
I caught her underlying meaning. Her unspoken words. “Mama, you’re gunna live!” I cried out, voice wobbly with fear.
A gentle smile washed away the pain briefly. “Jared, no…I’m not--” Pain swept across her features--”you know it.”
I bent my head to her swollen, tight belly, and felt a tear leak from my eye. “Mama,” I choked out in a raspy voice. “I’ll keep us together.”
Mama winced. “Oh…Jared…the baby is not waiting for the doctor!” I jumped up, knowing what to do. Mama helped deliver many babies, and sometimes I went along. I knew what to do when delivering a baby. Although I’d rather have the doctor be here.
“It’s okay, Mama,” I soothed, getting to my feet. I ran my fingers across her forehead in a loving manner before preparing for the birth of my sister or brother.
Fifteen minutes later, Mama went to be in Jesus’ arms, holding my newborn sister, Rainy. At least Mama got to see her last baby before she died. I stared down at the two of them, watching Rainy take tiny breaths. Then she burst into a howl. Her face puckered up and she screamed. Good set of lungs; doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.
I scooped her up, and cuddled my new sister to my chest. I stared at Mama, tears forming in my eyes. I couldn’t help it, I started to cry.
God, please tell Mama I’ll keep Rainy safe! I prayed. The door to Mama’s room swung open, and the doctor came in. He must have realized everything was over. I wanted to whip around and blame him for not coming sooner. But I knew it was not anybody’s fault. Mama was just too weak. Her entire pregnancy had been rough, and when she told me four months ago she would probably die during or after labor, she was at peace. I thought I was, until now. I assumed God would spare. How wrong I was.
I had asked Mama to have a C-section, but we hadn’t the money--still don’t--to pay for it or the hospital stay. The C-section would have saved her strength, and maybe she would have lived.
I felt the doctor lay a hand on my shoulder. “Son, she’s with God.”
“I know, Doc, but now…she can’t be here and watch Rainy grow,” I say, voice shaky, trying not to cry.
“Rainy…you named the baby?” I heard the smile in his voice, and wanted to tell him he couldn’t smile when Mama lay…gone…just a couple feet away.
I shake my head. “No, Mama did…said it was a rainy night, only fittin’. ‘Sides, she hadn’t another name ready.”
The doctor removed his hand from my shoulder and stepped to the bed. “Lets cover her body.” I watched him cover her, then handed him Rainy. I removed the blanket from her face, pressed one last kiss in her hairline, and then grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped off a lock of her honey-curled curls.
I looked up at the doctor as I pulled the blanket back over her face, and saw the tears in his eyes. I slowly walked out of the room, and into mine, clinging to the curl of Mama’s. Then I collapsed into bed, and sobbed myself to sleep.
**********
At 8am when I woke up, I got up, and
looked around my room, then down at my hand, still fisted around Mama’s hair, and I knew it was no dream. A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed around, and grabbed a pair of jeans and a tank-top off my chair and changed out of my wrinkled pants and shirt.
I set the lock of hair on my dresser, then made my way into the living room only to find the doctor in Mama’s rocking chair, holding Rainy. An empty bottle sat on the stand by the chair. I figured he must have fed her, and now she was sleeping.
He opened his eyes and saw me standing there. “Come closer, Jared,” he beckoned.
I forced my bare feet to move across the wooden floor. I stopped, directly in front of the rocking chair. “Doc, do I gotta to school today?” I’d be late, but sometimes Mama made us go even if we’d be late.
He shook his head, eyes full of sadness. “No.” He rubbed Rainy’s back. “No, you need to be here for the little ones when they awaken,” he replied, tone soft.
I stare at Rainy, remembering last night. “Okay…Can, I mean, may I…” I stumbled over my words. Over the correct usage of grammar. “May I hold Rainy?”
He nodded, passing me the sleeping infant. I was ten when Mama had Jenny, five years ago. It’s been along time since I held a baby this small that’s my own flesh and blood sister. I’ve held other babies Mama’s delivered, but it’s different when they’re your very own little sister.
“How am I gunna tell the others?” I ask the doctor, voice shaky. I didn’t look at him, but focused my eyes on Rainy. She feels so light.
“There isn’t any easy way, Jared--”
“We already know,” a voice interrupted. I turned around only to find, not only the speaker, but the rest of my sisters and brothers. My sister, Mama’s oldest girl, stood a little ways in the living room, everyone else behind her. She was struggling not to cry. “We were there.”
I knew shock must be written across my face. “What?”
Allie swallowed, trying to keep the tears at bay. “We saw Mama die. We watched from the doorway.” She started walking to me. “We followed you inside when you got back from fetching the doctor.”
The doctor agreed. “I saw them standing in the doorway when I came in, but they walked off right before you left the room.”
I bit my lip, remembering how I cried. They must have seen me. So much for being strong for the little ones.
Allie started crying, and came over to me. She was careful not to hurt Rainy when she hugged me. I felt her tears seep through my tank-top.
The others followed her. Jenny and Howie clung to my legs, and Willie touched Rainy’s air. A grin forced his downcast expression away briefly. “Mama always wanted an even amount of boys and girls. It’s four and four now.”
Yeah, and Mama’s not around to enjoy it. I didn’t voice my dark thoughts. I simply gave a tight nod.
The doctor cleared his throat, getting my attention. “Jared, I’ll head outside and take care of the chores for you guys.”
I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat, but my eyes said thank-you, and he nodded, getting the silent gratitude.
The following two days rush by me in a blur as I take on the responsibility of tending to the infant’s needs. Rainy’s always crying for either a diaper change, food or to be held. But the good doctor often shows up and helps with the farm chores. I need to help him, so I leave Willie in charge of the little ones for a couple hours each day, and take the twins, Alex and Allie, outside with me to help the doctor tend to the chores.
I think, personally, Willie likes being in charge of the little ones. He likes to be in charge of things. He keeps the little ones occupied, minds off missing Mama. For just being twelve, he’s pretty mature, so I don’t worry about leaving him at the house without anyone older there.
In fact, we’re all pretty mature. Maybe it’s growing up with farm chores. Or maybe it’s just this past year we’ve grown up--what with Dad leaving us soon as he found out Mama was pregnant.
I’m just fifteen, and the twins are fourteen. Willie’s next, and then comes quiet ten-year-old Mary, who acts older than she is. Howie’s the youngest boy, and all boy at that. Just seven and the peskiest boy I know. Jenny’s five, and is the cutest thing--next to Rainy.
Seven kids, all under my charge. I don’t understand how I am going to keep us together. But I promised Mama, and I always keep my promises.
**
This is the first story I ever finished (at 13), and the longest also. The chapters are very long, so I won't be posting one complete chapter each time, just mark the top of a new chapter each time I reach it. So, here's a litle of chapter one. Hope y'all enjoy it...and I wouldn't mind so comments/suggestions. *grins*