Softly floating galaxy
Drifting down through a ray of light,
Outlined in a shining glow,
Then vanishing once more.
Like ever present snow,
the old house is bathed in miniture winter,
In a clean room there are no seasons,
Here things move as if alive;
Whirling in a crazy flurry at the movement of an arm,
Then settling back to their old serene path.
Comments
Wonderful imagery! This is
Wonderful imagery! This is what I call great description. The rhytm is off so maybe you could cut the longer sentences in half and let the last half of the sentence go into the next line.
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thanks for the feedback! I
Thanks for the feedback! I tried splitting the middle line in half and it really improves the flow.
This is paints a beautiful
This is paints a beautiful picture in my mind. I think the rhythm is a little off, but that's okay.
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh