I'm in love with the love of your life
My heart reels when he sends me a smile
I know light when his eyes open mine
Though it's usually when we're
Acknowledging you
Betrayal was never my cause
I married to the hope I'd move on
But when he casts my name, I must fall
Though it's usually when he's
Calling me for you
And I hoped that when I stood on edge
And bristled at him, all chaste respect
He'd twist himself round you instead
Though usually when I was
Already with you
Then the night fell, the stars took their place
Slim courage manipulated my fate
And I stood on the top of his gate
Though usually when I could
Fall back to you
I chided myself as I spit them
Those words that took flight in the wind
And whipped to his glass, red-hot message
Though usually sent when I was
Stalling for you
He came to the door with his eyebrows on strings
A marionette, and I flew with lead wings
Over to him, and I had to, I'm sorry
Though usually said when I was
Calling to you
He knew in that moment what I meant, I guess
He reached out and curled his hand over
His chest
My heart fraught with unrest
My tongue dead
He ventured
I think you should go home
And I said that I know
That it was a lapse in
Judgement
And I went
And we
Never spoke of it
Again.
Comments
PS - The title delighted me
PS - The title delighted me so (x10) much.
I love this so much. The
I love this so much. The first line caught my attention immediately. Wonderful job!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
I love this so much. The
I love this so much. The first line caught my attention immediately. Wonderful job!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
LOVE! LOVE!!!!!!! I am always
LOVE! LOVE!!!!!!! I am always amazed at how well you capture a story with your words! So well done.
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Masterful, as always! You
Masterful, as always! You manage to capture a story so well with poetry and I was pleasantly surprised to see a rhyming pattern from you...so beautiful!
When I worship, I would rather my heart be without words than my words be without heart.
Ugh, perfection as usual.
Ugh, perfection as usual. ("Ugh" sounds like disgust, but it's a sound of admiration, haha.) I need to read this over and over. And you RHYMED! You don't usually! Was listening to Ed Sheeran's "Let It Out" when I read this, and the beat fit perfectly, and added to the atmosphere, too, haha. It was a fun experience. If this was based on real life, KUDOS to you, you tough soul. "But when he casts my name, I must fall" was EXCELLENT (I'm in a caps mood, sorry)...it perfectly describes the fate-like aspect of love. And "I know light when his eyes open mine" is better than my "I want to be the sun reflected on your face" haha, but I like that they're similar concepts. And that she married the hope she'd move on...SUCH a good way to explain that feeling. And I keep relishing the beat through all of this -- my favorite:
And I hoped that when I stood on edge
And bristled at him, all chaste respect
He'd twist himself round you instead