Smiling in the shadows
where everyone watches
cat eyes gleaming
In the dark...
Pressing, inquiring, investigating
the feelings I've yet
to discuss with myself.
Heart soaring with affirmations
his sweet tongue expressing admiration.
Oh my, exhilaration
Jubilation
Hesitation
Confidence falters as my disbelief
is manufactured by past wound's practicality...
Is it all real?
Or does my flirtation
Get lost in translation?
****
It's not made of clay,
Yet it spins me round,
Dradle, Dradle,
It's not made of clay,
But it sure does feel,
Like child's play.
Why do I not repeat,
These words I say in secret?
Why do I allow,
My emotions to run rampant?
A twisting tall playground,
I slide down into uncertainty,
Movements pondered,
Over analyzed and painstakingly plotted,
Till the fun of the game,
Leads to discontent.
What am I doing?
How could you love me?
A game of shoots and ladders,
At once I am high,
Floating on your smile,
Dancing with your words,
Wrapped in my arms,
Close to my heart.
Second look,
And I'm down the shoot,
Falling for the whisper in my ear,
It speaks with a forked tongue,
Tickling my confidence,
Shaking my courage,
With its slicing words:
"You are not worth love."
It does not feel true,
Yet why do I ache,
And cast my eyes to the ground?
Why, once singing, do I not make a sound?
These wicked games,
Between me and I,
Sun and Moon,
Heart and Mind,
A game of hungry crocs,
Self doubt and distrust the marbles,
I swallow them whole,
I forget, in my seesaw state,
There is another player,
The reason for all these tumultuous feelings,
The one I want to win,
The one I want to conquer,
The player I want to build with,
Instead of compete against,
I want him to want me,
In my entirety.
****
sparkling blue eyes
and that lovely smile
that makes me weak
butterflies fluttering
when you write my name
when you say my name
when you look at me
even though you're 2D
I cannot even begin to express
the gratitude I hold
for you in my life
for your soul
for you as a whole
I love the way
you make me feel
magical