Third Person

Submitted by Madeline on Sun, 02/15/2015 - 03:31

To hear your name is to
Step out of my consciousness
My keen sense of presence
Knitted to my surroundings
I am tied at every string but
Snap
Go the fingers and it all
Falls away until I'm levitating
Detached from all the people and the places
That have been interweaving
I'm watching
Listening to things about you
Learning who you're being
And I just find myself thinking when
I'm released
To jerk back down into my body
Snapped to attention
The vertigo receding
Unable to compete against waves of
Bone-deep relief
That I got away before
The end could amount to
Anything more than a really sharp sting

Author's age when written
17
Genre

Comments

This is great. You delivered the sensation really effectively. Those last 4 lines were awesome and spot-on. Great job!

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

This is so rich with imagery! I loved the story writen inside it, and the vivid pictures it conveyed! So absolutely beautiful and intriguing and I just texting you to know the details ;P.
So well done! So, so well done!

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
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Write On!