Goes Dark

You know, you know
By now I don't need you
I do, I do
I know this is true
I was thinking, start thinking
About back in those days
They feel ultra cloudy
Like we lived in a haze
For a time
And I realize
You weren't going to stay
It doesn't even feel like you
Could have
Even if you'd leaned toward
Forgiving me
If you'd wanted to
For a while after it happened
I would have
Forgiven you
For forsaking me the reasons to be
Forgiven

This permanence is
Sinking in
And I don't want to pursue
Reigniting
What was waiting
To be burned out

One Day

Ooh
Please
I'm almost crying
Out of the sheer joy
The organic happy
That intertwines
With my wrists
Fingertips
And my excitement
Three venues
Next year
I'll cheer with the crowd
Subsequently imagining
Myself up there
Hearing my own lyrics
Reflected at me
Reverberating
Just as loud

Pull Through

When you realize
There is nothing wrong
When you realize
That anxiety over being
Unprepared is nothing
Compared to what some
Are going through
And everything falls into the foreground
Becomes insignificant
In comparison
Because you were worried yesterday
And laughing
And sipping tea
And closing your eyes and wishing
For this to be through
But look at all the opportunities afforded to you
While some have to battle with
Every single day
And all they can do is pray
And hope some sense is made
Out of the chronic disorder
And there you sit
On a couch
Sipping coffee
Watching videos
Procrastinating
And all the sudden
You realize
Just how blessed
You are

November 27

Our teary eyes met
We both laughed again
A repeat of last time
The emotions are killing us
All I can manage is
A simple
I'm thankful for you all
Thankful to be here
And I am
Trying not to cry
(We're both wearing mascara)
With you

Caroling

It's a sad place with
Possibly fake hardwood
I can't tell
We have to keep our voices down
We shuffle into a room
Both are bedridden
One, condemned to stare at the ceiling
I give her a glance and
Our eyes do not meet
Through the curtain
Separated by the divide
She is propped up on pillows
She's smiling so wide
Her eyes go soft as we
Start to sing
Her fingers tap a beat
Onto her stomach
Afterward I
Compliment her on her rings
I want to give her a hug but I
Think that might be
Too forward
And plus
I don't want her to get ill
Instead I squeeze her hand
As we leave
She says thank you
She this this means
A lot to her
We don't even know
But I can see
And though it's fuzzy in memory
I think I might have said
Well
It's meant a lot to me

Fifteen Minutes

It's not a bed of roses
Having to wait so long between visits
But when we're together we pick right back up
I always have some best times with you
And I look forward to the day
When we can meet halfway
On our own, on a whim
Have the freedom to do
That
And I don't know where either of us will go
Whether we'll be closer or maybe even
Further away
But I've no doubt if we're
Even a country apart
It'll all somehow feel the same
As when you lived
Ten short minutes away

Leaves

This growing-up thing is
Not for the birds
Though it hasn't sunk in yet that I'm
Reaching the brink
Of living at home and
Pestering my siblings
When did this happen?
I remember being so young
And now here I am
Starting to do more stuff
On my own
How do people cope
With the brunt of it all?
I guess I'll see soon enough
In a couple of
Falls
Though I've no date stamped
No time or a place
I know I'll have to explore the world
Myself
Eventually

Gold on the Couch

Your compliments
Are sweet
Treasures
And I think
Just as highly of
You two
Sitting here and smiling