Hypochondria

I worry too much
I know
But when phrases and words evade me it sets
My mind spinning
My world tipping
When the headaches come on I just
Can't think
There's times when I simply won't
Read
Because the words are skimming
Too aimlessly
For me to even think
About comprehending
And occasionally
I'll slur a word
If I'm too much in my head
As I build up my own stories
With foundations
Of dread
And it's a waste of
Time that I might have
But just don't want to spend
I'm your average girl and it's
Probably normal
But a small part of my head whispers
As it always does
When it threatens itself
What if not?
Even though
I feel with certainty
It's all psychological
It's all in me
And if I let it
It'll stop

Virgo

I realize that it's true
What they say about Virgos
Or at least
Applies to me, though
I've never noticed it before
But I try
And try again
I guess they call that
Perfectionism?
I didn't think I was one of those people
Who had to get it right
Every time
And I don't.
But I start sometimes
Then start again
Trying to make it better
Every time
If I sing a song
And don't like one thing
I'll try again
Unsatisfied
And it's funny
Reading through
To find that this is true
Yet a small part of me still fears that
I'm reading too much into
It
and creating these traits in myself even though
One of them is that I'm removed
From every situation
Until I know where I stand
And I--
I'd like--
To think that that's true

Wink

Oh, here we go again
Except with someone new
By now I can admit
I've given up on you
Yeah, you can be nice to look at
And your humor melds with mine
But it's not worth all the yearning
And you're not worth so much time
I liked to give away when I
Was young and misinformed
You like boys
And just as well
I've found a better one

I Say, I Can't

I say I can't
I can't, I can't
Don't expect of me
The assurance
The confidence
To do this
I'll just let you down

Yes you can
Yes, yes you can
Tired of being
uncondusive
To a triumph
So I do it
I just do it
With a frown

So, I go
So, so I go
I'll admit I'm
Very slow
But still I went
So yes, I did
And at least now

Sitting here
Shifting to park
I know this time
Will come again

And when it does
I know it know it
I've shown it shown it
That I can

New

I'm doing it again
Guilty
Imagining us meeting
And though it's now a different him I
Just cannot help thinking
That, again
He might like me
That, again
That we could be
A one plus one
Together ringing
For everyone to see us

On A Walk

The
Town's pinned against the slate-grey sky
I feel the cool
I feel alive
The air's tugging
At the edges of my sweater
I love this
I'll admit
The elasticity of the weather
And nobody's out but the three of us
I see myself in
The storefronts
That at best were last open
In the late seventies
I feel this stirring
I feel the breeze
And even though I've said that I
Do not intend to stay
Sprawling out in states of gray
The roofs although
Delipidated
The sidewalks although
Decimated
Everything a little sagging
I don't know
It feels lived in
Like the warmth a candle gives
And I feel it
I can see
It's renewing
Change of season
Right here right now
Where silence's sound
Is hitting me so
Quietly
Right here right now
Here
I'm here right now
And here I'm just so
Happy

Enamored

The way your smile hits your eyes and
The length of your body how
You're the tallest in the room and
Your quick wit
The wisps of your hair
Curls of your arms and
Your self-aware smile
Like you're waiting for something good to come and
Knock you right off your feet
Your generosity
The way your mouth looks when you say
Certain words
I like that
I dream
I'm enamored