Burst
My heart feels so full,
It's going to burst,
My cheeks feel so hot,
They're going to burn!
My brain fizzles and sparks,
It's going to explode,
My lungs defy oxygen,
I'm suffocating on excitement.
My lips turn up in a smile,
They're going to give me away,
My eyes sparkle gayly,
It's all too much to take in,
And my heart finally bursts.

Feeling Special
How can I express something so new?
How can I possibly convey to you,
That you make me feel special?

The Question
With a charming smile,
A nervous pause,
Perfect timing,
And enough courage to take down a mountain.
The words tumble out of your mouth,
In your unexplainably nice voice,
Gravely yet slurred,
Deep yet light.
I thought you would ask,
I knew,
But I rejected the idea.
No it couldn't be so,
Despite my guess I was surprised all the same.
Perfect timing,
Making me laugh nervously,
I have to say something,
Anything.
"That's a good question"
I had laughed,
Looking up at your hopeful face,
Looking down at my hands,
My lap,
Your legs.
A thousand thoughts and feelings,
Flash all at once.
Like everything that has happened already,
My answer comes quickly,
Faster than I expected.
I expect regret,
I expect discomfort,
But instead I feel relief,
excitement, and happiness,
All in the flash of a giddy smile.

Feelings I
I've never thought about anything so little,
I've never made a decision like that,
I don't usually wander outside my comfort zone,
It was scary at first,
But you made it so easy.
It's comfortable with you,
It's uncomfortable without you,
So easy when you are near.
How can I explain to those around me,
That when I'm with you everything feels good?

Feelings & Thoughts II
I feel safe, I feel comfortable,
Happy and alive,
Yet nervous and trembling with an underlying fear,
A fear that it'll all come crashing down,
A fear that my heart will crumble,
Or that yours will.
I'm afraid that I am less than I appear,
I'm afraid I'll let you down.
I want you to love me for who I am,
I want you to see me for who I am,
Good and bad,
Flaws and faults,
The way I am constantly changing.
I want you to see,
That my family means everything,
That my writing is therapy,
That my humor is hard to understand,
That I'm more girly with my girl friends,
That I'm more joking and off-handed with my guy friends,
That I love affirmation,
That I hate repetition,
That I don't know half the time,
That I'm smarter than I let on.
I want you to see,
That I'm stubborn,
That I'm vain,
That this is all so new,
But that I've attached myself to someone before,
I've fallen,
I've adored,
I've stumbled,
And I've walked away with scars.
I tried so hard to have a level head,
But logic waved and walked out the door,
Leaving my head tilted in a laugh,
A smile,
A blush.
I wanted to drift,
But you fell quickly,
Which led me to diving,
Falling,
After you.
I feel safe, I feel comfortable,
Happy and alive,
The only discomfort is when I step back,
To realize what I've shared.
I've opened my heart wide open,
Something I thought I'd never do again,
I've left the doors wide open,
And you're standing there,
Pretending that you're opening the doors for me,
In your charming way,
Of turning everything into a charming opportunity.

Easy
It was so easy,
Your words were what any girl wanted to hear,
Had you really said them to me?
Shell shocked,
I stumbled in a daze till I saw your face.
Had you changed?
I didn't care,
Everything was new...
It could possibly be awkward,
But it was like awkward turned off,
As the radio turned on,
It was so easy.

Waiting
Anxiousness sits heavy on my chest,
Burning beneath my color bone,
Engulfing me in nervous energy.

Feelings and Thoughts III
I don't know what to think,
I don't know what to feel,
I think I feel stuck,
Trapped in my quick decisions.
Rash and binding,
My mind makes this much worse,
Than it really is.
I want to love him,
After all the fun,
After all the smiles and laughter,
But I can't.

My Hand In His
With my hand in his,
Everything feels safe,
I'm happy,
Content,
It's when my hand isn't,
That I realize,
This is not me,
Quick and easy,
This is not me,
A girlfriend with no backstory.
He's sweet and charming,
Says all the right things,
But when we talk,
I feel like I'm talking to a child.
I'm not good for him,
He deserves someone better,
Someone who is devoted,
And adoring to him,
As he is to me.
I'm shallow and snobbish,
And I have difficulties,
Looking past the end of my nose.
He's cute,
But he wouldn't be my type.
I regret saying yes,
I wish I had said "wait",
I hate giving in,
I wish it didn't feel so good,
With my hand in his.

Voices
So many voices swirling around in my head,
Voices defined by the people they belong to.
So many people telling me what to do,
Telling me to be true,
To myself.
So many voices echoing in my ears,
But all that I hear just makes things worse,
Making me distrust everything I feel and think,
And I don't know what to do,
With myself.