In the immortal words of My Chemical Romance, “Teenagers scare the living (I’m keeping it PG here…) out of me.” Because, in my honest opinion, teenagers are the scariest things alive. I should know, because it just dawned on me that I am a teenager.

I remember in 2011, my friend was turning thirteen. She actually marked days off on her calendar and made sure to tell everyone she met how many days it was until her thirteenth birthday. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum; I was incredibly afraid of becoming a teenager. Plus, doesn’t the word ‘teenager’ just seem to exude a certain notoriety about it? I guess I got so used to my parents going “Those darn teenagers…” that I eventually grew to fear the same being I am.

Being a teenager involves a lot of change. If you had asked me who I was in April, I probably would’ve muttered something inconceivable and hostile-sounding under my breath and then replied with “The last of a superior species. And you?” (Or at least something of that sort; I wasn’t the most amiable person.) Now, I’d just respond with a laugh and say “Somebody loved.” I also have an air of confidence around me, which took a lot of digging to come up with.

This ‘change’, if you will, is one that also has caused some difficult stuff to pop up along the way (depression, self-harm, anxiety, the list can go on and on really…). I don’t talk about it much really, but hey, it happens, right? I think that these types of things happen for reasons, and no matter what, we can beat them. Plus psychotherapy and is always an option, is it not?

Also, this change is physical. I did wake up the other morning and began to get changed when I realized I had more of a shape to my body as opposed to just being a lifeless beanpole. My face has become less child-like and more like that of a young lady. (So, I chopped off all my hair. And it looks fabulous!)

As a teenager, I’ve lost a lot of my childish naivety. I don’t trust as easily as I used to, and I’ve given up on waiting for my fairytale prince to ride in and save the day. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have to go find my future (and come on, any ‘prince’ dopey enough to go gooey eyes for me is obviously dumber than a box of rocks and has gotten stuck in a tree.) It’s up to me to go chase my dreams because I’m not a five year old craving a cookie that’s been cleverly hidden on the shelf. I can’t easily go up to my mom and say “Can you do this for me?” It’s long past the time for such childish folly.

Teenagers are scary, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be fun. My best friends and I just go and be ridiculous together, and we don’t hurt anyone. We’re practically the most docile people in the universe; the worst we’d do is tease you about the person you like or force you into watching funny videos with us. I’d take a bullet for my best friends if I had to, and I’d do it gladly. Having friends while being a teenager is like forming a pact with someone who’s going through the same things you are.

So, in short, growing up is a bit of a long and twisty road. We grow up, whether we like it or not. And this phase called being a teenager is probably the worst and best time that we’re going to have (so cliché, but it’s pretty relevant.) so we’d best make the most of it. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to have some fun with my time as a teenager, because really, it’s only just begun!