Chapter 2
It came
When Kayla turned fourteen she was engaged to a young and handsome prince named Nathan he had blond long hair and blue eyes that sparkled. They we’re madly in love! then prince Nathan caught a deadly illness. All Kayla did was cry day after day. when she heard the news that atayay was on his death bed and wanted to see her she dried her eyes and rushed to atayays bed.“ atayay I’m here how are you doing??”“you will save Nathan” whispered Atayay“tell me how atayay how will I save my love?!?!” atayay handed her a piece of paper and then stopped breathing. “atayay!” screamed Kayla there was no answer from atayay. Kayla began to cry and opened the slip of paper it said
The potion for all curing is:
2 ogre teeth
5 dragon scales
1 wizard wand
1 elf shoe
1 piece of a giant’s pumpkin
And 7 ever lasting leaves.
Kayla just stared at the paper with tears in her eyes she new what she had to do and took a deep breath “I wont fail, I’ll do it for Nathan!” she ran to Nathan and told him the news he was scared that she would die and wanted some one to come with her but she said no and told him she had to do it alone. So the next day she jumped on her favorite horse got a sword and bag of food and rode off. Nathan looked out of the window and began to cry.
To be continued…
Genre
This story jumps around in
This story jumps around in time a lot. Maybe you should just drop the first chapter--which has no connection that I can see--and start with a scene of Kayla and Nathan in love. There's currently nothing that distinguishes them from any other couple I might met, and therefore it is difficult to care about them much.
(If I'm being too harsh, just let me know, but I have editing aspirations, so I do this frequently.)
Formerly Kestrel