Haven't you always wondered what dog thought! Well now you can know! So here is an interview with a dog--named--uh...Paws. Paws the dog (a very creative name if I do say so myself) is exactly--um...three feet tall without standing on hind legs and is the color of warm syrup. (does warm syrup have a color) And caramel. (btw, why is syrup sometimes prounced see-rrr-up and caramel ca-rah-meal?) Just wondering. So that's...Paws, I think. And here is his interview with a fictional interview lady names Harmony Gupster. 

HG: Paws, thank you so much for taking time out of your very busy day to be here. 

PS: Whatever. I just want to get back to the bone. 

HG: Really, it's lovely for you to have come. 

PS: Okay, okay, I get it. 

HG: Spectacular, actually you-

PS: I UNDERSTAND. GET ON WITH THE QUESTIONS. 

HG: Fine, then. Okay, number one...

PS: Are we done yet? 

HG: Shhhh....number one, what is your name? 

PS: You're kidding me. 

HG: This interview is not a joke although some people...er...animals seem to think it is. 

PS: That would be you, then. 

HG: Paws, what is your name? 

PS: It's bob. Bob, okay? 

HG: I thought it was Paws! 

PS: NOW IT'S BOB! SO GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH IT!

HG: Okay, question number two, how old are you? 

PS: Three. 

HG: Why are you three? 

PS: Maybe because I was born three years ago. 

HG: Why were you born three years ago? 

PS: I don't know! Maybe because I was. 

HG: Why not four years ago? 

PS: Does it matter, honestly, how many years ago it was that I was born? 

HG: Oh, yes. 

PS: I was born four years ago. 

HG: I thought you said it was three. 

PS: Four. That's all I'm going to say. 

HG: But if that's all you're going to say, then how can we do the interview? 

PS: I'll write it. 

HG: Can dogs write? 

PS: I can. 

HG: I'm pretty sure they can't. 

PS: I can. 

HG: No, most dogs can't write. 

PS: I'm not most dogs! How would I be talking if I was a normal dog? 

HG: Dogs can talk. 

PS: AHHHH! JUST...JUST...BE QUIET! PLEASE! UGH! 

HG: Do you have fleas? 

PS: NONONONONO! I DO NOT HAVE FLEAS! 

HG: Why? 

PS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (runs from room with terrifying swiftness) 

HG: Okay. 

The end. Although it may be weird. The end.