Iraella and Baeddan: Epilogue

Submitted by E on Mon, 09/14/2009 - 17:34

*I'm not completely happy with it, but I've left the ending open for sequels :-) hope everyone's happy.

Epilogue                 Two days after her sixteenth birthday, Iraella left with Silera and Eamon’s blessings, and with Baeddan, in search of her parents. They traveled all through Elmanaha together for years, and along the way, they wed (they were nineteen and twenty by then). A few years after that, they found a snow-covered cottage. There lived Quaela and Kelder, Iraella’s birth parents.                  Iraella gave birth to her and Baeddan’s first child several months later in that cottage. Their son was named Mabon.             They kept in contact with Mabon’s family, and discovered that Dai’s power was prophesying like Ello.             But though the words “The End” are coming ever so near, that doesn’t mean that the story has ended……               The End
Author's age when written
12
Genre
Fiction

Comments

Ariel

Mon, 09/14/2009 - 18:23

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good ending, but....I'M NOT ENTIRLY SATIFIED!!! I guess I'm still in shock about Mabon. It was so sweet that they named the baby that! I think I speak for everyone when I yell...SEQUEL!!!!

You did a wonderful job on it though. Congradulations on finishing.

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"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Heather

Tue, 09/15/2009 - 17:52

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You definitely have a talent for cliffhanger chapters.

And a very vivid imagination. The thing with two faces gave me the creeps.

On the whole, I say Good Job!! It kept me wondering what was going to happen and what twists you would throw in next. The only thing I have to say is that it felt kind of choppy. Maybe that was just because it was short chapters (I personally like long chapters). In the second draft you could probably expand and explain some more things--like why everyone on the island forgets where they come from except Barden and Porda.

And one minor note--a popular Christian fantasy series, The Dragon Keeper Chronicles, has a prominent guy character named Barden. I don't know if having characters named the same with another author bugs you (it does me...and on the subject of the Dragon Keeper books, you should read them--they're by a gal named Donita K Paul).

Anyway you did a great job with this! I'm sorry I didn't get on the bandwagon sooner--I enjoyed this story a lot! Keep writing--that's the best way to grow as an author! (And personally, I'm interested in seeing where you'll take Shayde...)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

E

Tue, 09/15/2009 - 19:09

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Thanks! Yeah, the storyline's really changing in the second draft, so I'm not even sure if I'll have Barden and Pora. And thanks for pointing out the choppy thing! I'm working on that....Chapters in my books used to be like a paragraph long!

I'll check out The Dragon Keeper Chronicles! I kinda randomly made up the name Barden, I didn't know it was in other books! I should've guessed....... o_O

Anyway, thank you!

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Bridget

Wed, 09/16/2009 - 04:27

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Well, I liked the story, but if you had to kill Mabon, you should have made him die gloriously.  He deserved something like that.  But I guess it's your story... *sigh*.  Good job though!  And I like the very ending.

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Arya Animarus

Thu, 06/24/2010 - 05:50

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I got on ApricotPie at ten o'clock PM, and stayed up till two in the morning reading your story. Wonderful! Spectacular! I saw you gave up on a title. Try; Against the Dark.

Good luck with your stories (even though there is no such thing as luck)!

God has blessed you!

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"You don't fully appreciate life until you risk losing it."

                                                               Calvin and Hobbes.

Oh for the times when I felt invincible.

Anna

Tue, 10/19/2010 - 16:12

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...and finished reading. This is a great story. I do have a thought, though--in the second/third draft, maybe you could work on weaving all the characters together. Sometimes it seemed like they just dancing through.

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

E

Wed, 10/20/2010 - 18:09

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I'm glad you enjoyed it! I've re-read it and realized that it's neither as bad as I thought it was....I'm working on the third-ish draft and am trying to tie everything together. Thanks for the suggestion!

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond