Every morning, I wake up, slowly get out of bed, and get ready to start my day. Sometime around eight o’clock I head to my desk and I begin my assignments for the day. My mom reviews with me my lesson plans and then she heads downstairs to do her morning chores. Around one o’clock I finish my schooling and begin my chores. At four, my dad comes home and we talk for a few minutes and then we go our separate ways, doing whatever needs to be done before the day is through. By the end of the day I’m exhausted and I’m ready to go to sleep. Just before I fall asleep, I think about my day and wander why something doesn’t feel right. What is it? What is missing?

Just two years ago, my life was full of excitement and pain - things that make you hang on every action, word, or thought that comes throughout the course of a school day. I would quickly get up and get ready to catch the bus to go to school. I would talk to my friends who went to the public school right down the street from the private school that I went to. We would exchange stories about what it was like going to two, different schools and talk about what happened the day before and what we planned to do that day. This ride would last about an hour before the bus would pull up in front of my school and drop me off. We would say our good-byes and I would hop off the bus and walk into school. Then I would wonder what the new day would bring. Many different things would swim through my mind, but I’d shake off my dreams and be ready to face reality.

I was a good student, in school clubs, sports, and other things. I wasn’t popular, making jokes and insults a daily thing. Yes, some did hit me hard. I must admit I did cry at times, but I got right back up and continued on. I have a few close people that I am still friends with that I wouldn’t trade with anybody else. We went through each day together. Not letting each other down. Some may think all people that go to school are rude and unkind. There are people like that, but there are people who aren’t. You just have to look in the right places and make wise decisions.

When we would finish our last class for the day, I’d hurry and pack my books that
I needed for homework and go catch the bus for the ride home. Most of the time on the bus, you could catch one or two people taking a short nap, some of us doing our homework, and others discussing the day’s events. I’d arrive home around four o’clock and spend hours doing homework. Then I would discuss my day with my mom. Everything seemed great. Right?

Well, things seemed to get worse. My parents were afraid I wasn’t getting what I needed, academically, and the insults and jokes seemed to happen more often. By the end of the year, I waited anxiously for each class to be over so I could get on the bus and go home. The days grew closer to the end of school, and, like everyone, I was ready for summer to arrive. The last day of school, as the bell rang, I hugged my friends and took off to ride home with my grandmother. Unfortunately, I hadn’t rode the bus the last few weeks of school so I wasn’t able to sit, relax, and talk to people my age. Instead, my grandmother asked question after question and I didn’t say much of anything on the way home, except to answer her curious questions. Who knew that my fast-paced life would suddenly come to a halt in the next week? I sure didn’t.

The next week I was informed that I would be home-schooled. In one minute all my dreams were lost. High school, friends, homecoming, prom, maybe even a chance to be my class’ Valedictorian- they all seemed to be in arm’s reach at one time. To me, at the time, I thought home-schooling was something for people different from me. Well, now I know it can happen to anyone and I regret taking for granted my years in school.

Home-schooling brought new challenges and obstacles. I absolutely didn’t like it and I wasn’t cooperating with my mother. I constantly thought of what my friends were doing right then. I yelled, screamed, and took every chance I could to express my opinion. I was telling them what I felt, but sometimes I felt my words were falling on deaf ears. My first encounter with other homeschoolers was very difficult. I realized that I was different in many ways. I felt out of place and I thought that everyone thought I was strange. It was a big step for me and I was trying as hard as I could to be okay with it. It was working, but my thoughts of going back to school revived after I discovered instant messaging over the computer.

I gathered screen names and e-mail addresses of people that I had not talked to in about a year. Some I went to school with, some from other schools, and family friends. Everyday, I’d wait to see if anyone would get online so I could talk to them. Many times waiting helped and many times it didn’t. Sometimes I would ask if anything interesting had happened or how some of our friends were doing, etc. Homecoming came and went and I read lots of wonderful stories. If any of them played sports they’d tell of their success, or of their failure. I kept track as much as I could, but I felt even worse with every word I read.

Well, I think this story has a wonderful ending. My friend came over a few days ago. She is a sophomore and goes to a public high school. We talked into the early hours of the morning. After about three hours of off and on discussion, she knew something was wrong. She asked me if I needed her to answer a question. She knew what the question would be. Was I missing out on anything?

This made her furious. She went on for about thirty minutes yelling and screaming. She kept saying she hardly saw her friends at school. She saw them at lunch, but hardly anywhere else. It was one o’clock in the morning and I thought she was going to wake my parents up! Fortunately, that didn’t happen. She told me as much as I want to go back to school, I was where I needed to be. Being in a public high school wasn’t everything I thought it was. That was that. She told me what I had been needing to hear. After a few more related topics, I was finally at peace.

I feel different and I’m beginning to understand why this happened to me. I had the opportunities to meet the greatest people from public and private schools. They may be few, but people like them are very hard to find. I have made new friends that homeschool and I am enjoying them. I believe I experienced the best and the worst of both environments. I still have my ups and downs, but that is normal. As my 9th grade year is coming to a close, I’m ready to experience life the way it is and not the way I want it to be.

age = 13-16