Bilfafious Dougery Mukle of Mr. Gandalf's garden is my name and I am a gnome.  Please forgive the smudges of dirt on this paper I forgot to wash my hands after battling the Snapdragons this morning.

Now as you can imagin being a garden gnome for a wizard is dangerous and precarious and........just plain difficult. My favorite thing to do is to sit under the Twisted Oak, drinking a cup of tea, and smoking my pipe as the sun sets. However I haven't had the chance to do that since Mr. Gandalf left me in charge. He was most upset about Frodo and Bilbo sailing off with the Elves so he took a little vacation and I haven't seen him since.

I'm in a spot of trouble at the moment as this morning while replating some Flesh-Eating-Pansies I discovered a Mysterious Jar buried under the Twisted Oak.  I don't know what to do with it.  At the moment it's siting on my windowsill.  It has a rust spoted metal screw-on top, a glass body, and the entire thing is dripping dirt. I'm half afraid to open it for fear it might be one of the Gandalf's experiments or one of the previous wizard's spells. (The wizard that lived here before Gandalf was a nasty chap.)

Oh, dear the Snapdragons have uprooted themselves again and are redoing the garden in flames. I must go recapture them before they do further harm......

Well much has happened since I left off writing this letter to you. I hardly know where to start. Mr. Gandalf told me to write to you, Mr. Tom Bobidil should I have any trouble and trouble's what I've had. If you see Mr. Gandalf tell him to come home quick.  The garden's in a right spot of trouble.

After capturing the Snapdragons I opened the Jar and things came out. First dusty gray smoke billowed out, I was scared cuase the smoke had the smell of a barrow, Mr. Bobidil. Then this portal opened up in the middle of the smoke like a great black eye, then I was real scared.  And then it started to suck stuff in.  My papers were just flying in and then Mr. Gandalf's gardening record  book was lifted up by the force I grabbed for it and was sucked in.

I toumbled through a tunnel of sorts like a rabbit hole filled with stars. Finaly I poped out on to a great desk amidst papers, books, and paper weights.

"Well what have we here?" Asked a great voice as a hand picked me up. I came face to face with a creature, it wasn't a Human, it wasn't a Wizard, and it wasn't an Elf.

It had pointed ears like an Elf but it reeked of magic like a Wizard and yet, I could tell it wasn't either for it had fangs. Great massive curving fangs.  It wasn't of this world.

"A common garden gnome, I thought you were extinct," procliamed the creature.

I blinked and whispered, "What sort of creature are you?"

"A Fay, a Fearie Lord, a Sinstria, more over I am Lord Salmalinzink and I am a villian," said the creature.

I shivered in fear...........Oh dear I've run out of space on this piece of paper.

Gnomes Rule!

Bilfafious Dougery Mukle