The sun broke through a dusted sky at 9:00, its strong silent voice full of radiance and dazzling luminosity. Morning. And yet a heavy heart was in my chest. I looked in my mirror to see that something had changed in me within the past month or so, something that I couldn't understand. I saw it deep inside my tired green eyes. I knew that this something had not happened overnight. There was a wise depth to their emerald color. I didn't feel the change coming over me. I didn't feel wize. I didn't feel brighter or more knowledgeable. I was broken, weary, worn. Tired of living day to day with heaviness on my mind and in my heart the ache. I was lonely.
My dreams had been nothing but jumbled pieces of conflict that night. All heart-felt thoughts and desires turned untrue and becoming unraveled. All of my hopes seemed like torn fragments with me grasping listlessly at their ends just aching to have them held. Kites, far away from my fingers. Slipping away. Dropping. Drifting. And all of my fears multiplied. Drowned in my frozen surrender. My loneliness beat consistently with my heart. It was overworked. It was tired. It needed embraced. I needed understood. I needed cherished. I needed love.
Awareness. Truth, understanding, faith, respect, and love. Present.
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Dear, dear, Mamie..... I love how your writing reflects you... I see you in it...
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The Holy Spirit is the quiet guest of our soul." -St. Augustine