Big Day

My leg is quaking
My thoughts are a messy blur
I can't focus on anything but the notes
Trickling by
C, A, E, D
I front of me
Five or ten or two slip by
I miss them when I should
Am forced to improvise
More than I thought I could
I want to shake this edge
I can't seem to
But then it's time
It comes out nearly flawlessly
Maybe the best I've ever played
Aside from one or two places
The timing's right on point
And then the bridal march
Everyone rises
I can't see her
I stare at my hands
I flub the end a bit but
It's all right
Because there they are
On the stage
Staring at each other
With love in their eyes
Again, she's trying,
Not to cry
And when he turns toward the crowd for the prayer
I can maybe pick out
A sheen of his own
And this is love right here
And one more song right here
To play
And it was worth it
To me
To be involved this way

Come On, Let's Go

I'm holding back a little bit
I want to be a dance-floor queen
It's so sparsely populated, though
I'm afraid they'd look at me
And think how silly
But when the song comes on I go
I get up from my seat
I grab the girls hands and we spin
Do you want to build a snowman?
I guess, yes, please
I'm laughing
I can feel the eyes
But I'm really not caring

First Dance

It starts from the dessert line
I turn to watch them
They're staring despite the eyes
Of a couple hundred
Of the camera pointed at them
Capturing every shot
We say how cute they are
He stoops over to be on her level
Then lifts her up, spins her around
So her feet swing out
They both look so happy
To have found each other
And this day
After five years
I find myself one day wishing
For a love like that
Not the storybook kind or the
Sweeping romances
Not the bad boy or my
Previously acclaimed intangible one
But just one
Who will smile at me
In such a way
That'll always make me
Smile back
The dance ends
I've been watching
And to witness it
I've been so glad

Grandparents

They announce a special dance for
A couple in attendance
Who are celebrating their
Fortieth
After a pause
They rise from their seats
And join them on the floor
Stepping back
Turning slowly
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
I wonder if they would've ever thought
They'd end up together
It's all I've ever known
And remembered
Is those two together
I'm thinking about how
People fall in love in mysterious ways
And maybe it's all part of a plan
I think maybe it was
They were celebrating fifty years
Of knowing each other
Last month
While they were here
I wonder what that's like
To look back on
Well, me, I fall in love with you every single day
And I don't think it was probably always there
But evolved
There's comfort in having somebody who knows you as well
As the person you were once closest with
Isn't there?
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Tears come through me just thinking about it
It's one of those wonderfully reflective days
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
And to see them right now
Dancing
They did

Anticipatory

The house is quiet
I revel in the silence
I think about presents
That I'll be giving
I think about the fact
They'll be here in a week

Skipping Track

Believe lieve lieve lieve lieve me baby
I'd love to know you closely
For you to whisper stories in my ear
And talk about the tiniest parts of your day
Your hand on my shoulder
It wouldn't ever reach further than that
I know this and I'm still okay
With just a glance and meeting of eyes
Amusing and wrinkling and crinkled at corners
Lips and sky-high schemes and
Laughing nights
I'm not asking for a whole lot I don't think just
A chance to be your friend
At least then I wouldn't have to continue
Wanting from a distance

And Speak the Truth

I bite back
And wonder if I've
Overstepped
I always tend to
Always tend to wonder if I've
Let my thoughts
Stretch too far
Reach too forwardly
Into the ears
Of someone else

Red Sweater

Early morning
My eyes go to you
Like a bullet
A dart
Cup of black coffee
A magnetized longing
For a counterpart
To be found in you
And your beam
I turn the volume down
When you're happy
You're just so pretty
And it's an odd choice of word
For a guy
I say that what you're a part of is stupid
But it's true
And you're also witty
The things that I've heard
You say
Make me laugh
Out loud
In pleasant surprise
I say it's gone and it
Won't come back
But everytime I even think about you
Then it does

I Still Can't Sleep

Half asleep and blessed
Leaning forward yearning for more rest
Dad tolerates my music
Mom champions for me to always
Take control of the radio
Later, as I stand listening
I reach out and give her a hug
And also Mom does
But that's forward, for me
But now she's family
Ten minutes, we sit
Eating in a booth
I complain about my lack of choice in
Healthier food
We're having pizza later tonight
Crowded into the dining room
Eyes alive, we'll bring
Recaps of our day eagerly
Filling the brightly-lit space
I say I'll eat green
Mostly
To make up for it
But, oh really,
Who cares
It's a treat?
And tomorrow they'll all be here
At once for Christmas Eve
I woke myself up yesterday morning just
Thinking about it
I wouldn't want to be without them
Any of them
I imagine the gleam in their eyes when they see
Five trickling months down the line
I'm a dreamer, I've always been
But maybe more lately
Now that it's getting to that
Point in my life
And I realized last night
As I taped paper in place
Flipped a gift over
Affixed a ribbon
I might have two Christmas mornings besides this
Left before they're
On my own
I didn't realize I'd not have them forever
I want Santa Claus and I
Want to stave off sleep
I remember when I was younger and I
Believed in everything
And on VHS tape, I'm two
In the room
Dancing to Winnie-the-Pooh
My brother is in Mom's arms
The other not a thought yet
And it stings in my eyes like I
Kind of knew it would
It's hard to believe it's flown past
I've never said that I'd gladly go back
I love being this age
And it feels so alive
But I think it's okay
To remember sometimes