Sunshine soaks
every single
surface
of
this life
I can attest
that it is
even there
at night
gleaming from
behind the moon
reflected in
condensation
refracted through
stained glass
winking at
precipitation
I become
a sponge
when I spot it
from the corner of
my eye
I slather it on
my pale forearms
and smile as I
sigh
it enters and it
paints
every face
a shade brighter
it shines and it
sews
every morning
a thread tighter
it leaps and it
spurs
every spirit
a beat higher
until the world around
is bathed
in yellow
rays
of
light
This is a meditation on gratefulness! I wrote it a couple weeks ago and revisited it this morning to tweak it a little before publishing. I would especially like your thoughts on the division of the stanzas. Originally, I was going to leave them all as one, but I decided that it needed some separation. However, I didn't like how it flowed when split up the old fashioned way, so I threw it off by a line. Thank you for reading, and for any critiques/thoughts you feel inclined to share! <3 <3
Comments
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh, my gosh.
Homey, I feel totally melted inside.
The beauty of this!!! Sewing every day a thread tighter!! Slathering it on your pale forearms! I FELT this entire poem, from the first drop of a sunlit word to the last drop. I felt it inside my body and on my skin -- I became a sponge, too -- and I relaxed and breathed so deeply the healing light of the sun. Thank you for letting me experience that on this blizzardy day <3 You have SUCH a way with words - a word-wizard. You're magical, and your poetry just keeps showing that.
Just read your note --
-- keep them separated!
And of COURSE this was a meditation on gratefulness. Now that makes so much sense -- the peace that tangibly flowed through this poem. I could feel your stillness of heart as you wrote it, your happiness. I feel like I could print this out and taped it above my bed and read it every morning and be healed by the sun through your words! Thanks for this!
Thank you for making my day!
You both are lovely. <3 Words can't express my gratitude at your feedback. It'd come out all sappy, like: BLAHBebooblahgagagadeeeeedaaaaawwww
Haha!
Well I'm glad we made your day. :) Reading Sarah's lovely comments almost made mine, even though they weren't for me at all. :P it makes me happy to see other people making people happy. If that even makes sense.
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.
OH, I love this.
OH, I love this.
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
Homie!
Oh Homie this made me smile so much! It totally made my evening! I see how it could mean gratefulness, but I too felt the joy part of this poem first.
I agree that this poem makes you feel what you wrote in a physical sense. What a lovely, lovely poem! I will have to re-read this when I am having a bad day to pick me up!
I believe the way you have broken up the stanzas is perfect. It gives more emphasis to certain words and phrases and I think that it is more powerful this way.
Blessings!
"Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
Verah noice!
I thought it flowed very well!!! Very very nice!! I also loved the imagery it inspires and overall warm feeling inside I derive from it!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Beautiful emotion! As I was
Beautiful emotion! As I was reading it the feeling of joy kept popping up into my mind but after reading your note at the bottom greatfullness made total sense. I guess I've got my head in the clouds right now 'cause just about everything looks/feels like joy to me. :P
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.