Second Meeting

We're an introverted mishmash of
Opposing personalities
Maybe one or two or three are
Actually complimentary
My wits are half-sedated and I
Can't find a place to chime in
They live in a world so different from mine
I don't blame them for not making more of an
Effort
Maybe I haven't always been in the best rapport
It's probably vain to assume that I'm
Somewhat intimidating
If you don't meet me in the perfect
Stars-aligned setting
Oh, that's probably not true
But it's crucial for me to feel at ease
If I'm going to be myself with you
I bite back a scathing remark
Reveal later people may not know how
Sarcastic I am
At all
And yet despite my quiet earlier I'm the
First one to speak up
So, no, I haven't met new friends
I don't see myself with them
Giggling, laughing, late-nights
Cookie-baking
Taking bites
When they don't even hardly eat
Hard not to feel obsolete
All I know is I don't fit in
Not here, not yet
But I'll try again

Sorry

Oh I felt a flare of it
Felt a flare of green
I want to claim
It as my thing
But it doesn't seem to be

Yes

I think I'm okay with the way this has gone
I've lost something huge but I've long-since moved on
And I don't know yet where to direct my ambition
But as with everything else time will grant me permission
So I
Stay solid in my belief that it will work out for the best
There's no need to toss and turn and there's no need for vain distress
Because when it comes it'll come and come out from duress
And with a steeled look in my eyes I'll boldly proclaim yes

Planned

Put my pen to paper and a
New plan comes to life
A French-style cafe with
A counter that stretches the length
Of the room and ceilings
Twelve-feet high and
Gleaming hardwood floors
Organic fresh-roast beans
Open-mic nights maybe
I'll sometimes headline and
Serve oodles of coffee
And everything'll be vegan
From the cake to the cookies
Muffins, pastries
Gluten-free and
The dress code will allow
For everyone to express themselves
However they see fit
I don't know what I'll call it but I
See myself behind
The counter, smiling as the door dings open
Saying
welcome to my place
It'll be unique
It'll make it
Maybe
Now,
Where should it be based?

November

I mainly think you both have faded
But you've come roaring back
In the haze of a dream that I didn't ask for
Taking a different form than what
I'm used to seeing
From you
The second time in a year and
You left it far too soon
Because this was honest
And real
Was feasible
Thigh-to-thigh and chatting
Easily
And everything was wonderful but still
So out of reach it was humbling
Promise if I keep my distance will you
Keep yours close to me?

Dress Rehearsal

Come on come on now
I don't even feel swayed
I've played this game before,
You know
It's all feeling the same
But oh, I hope
That they can make it
That the pews will fill with
Faces
For the first time I'll be
Sitting on the side
Alone
I'll have to fake it
Assurance
When it's been almost
Two years
Since I last took the stage
But I've missed it
It's crazy
If I'm being quite honest
And I feel a little bit
Insane

Big Day

One month
Two handfuls of days
To go until the big one
That counts for everything
Oh, I'm not near ready
If I'm being truthful
I don't want to go away from the day
Feeling deflated and rueful
So I better get practicing and my
Hands better pray
That when it comes time
The time for me to play
And she floats down the aisle
Adorned in sparkling white
My certainly will not falter
And I'll bid nervousness goodbye

Despite

Irrational fears
Take me away
Sweep me up in your
Clinging embrace
I'll try to break free
I'll try to escape
But in case I don't please
Don't make me abstain
From freely being who I
Aspire to be
From taking risks and questioning
Everyone on everything
From wanting what nobody else
Would ever want for me
What they would never think
Would be suitably
Okay
Just lend me my voice for a
Couple of minutes
I don't want your
Constraint
Oh, irrational fears
Don't bother yourself about
Holding me back when I'm
Prepared to go
It'll all fly forth when it
Gets to much
Give me a second to
Say no