I Could Have Hoped
It's even starting to affect him
Covers his ears on the couch
He used to be the one that
Would go about his business while the rest of us
Begged, pleaded
Hoped it would end
Now look how it has changed
One of us is making breakfast
The other is typing
We don't even try
And then there I look up
He is holding his ears on the couch
And I realize
Oh wow
It's reached him
Know Better
I always get found out
I'm kind of like an open notebook
Since all my thoughts are scribbled
Half-formed, half-ass
Half of everything
I really don't want people to think I'm obsessive
Even though I am
I really don't want people to think I'm so down
Although I kind of am
I really don't want people to think I can jot away
Call these thoughts something revolutionary
Every other girl has them
Every other girl never has them realized
I hate it that I think I'm
Not like every other
I promise, I swear
I know better
Spaceship
She must be over the moon
I hear the guy on the radio go on about
Rave album reviews
This is what she wanted
She got it
I want rave reviews too
I want an album
I want to be over the moon
And people to coast over there with me
I don't want any gravity
This Is Truth
I realized today
As I wandered around the sun-filled room
On the same street I've been on almost all my life
I dreamed about him last night
It's been a while
Kind of strange, actually
That after all this time he lingers there
In the back of my
Unsuspecting consciousness
In my dream he was still as short as ever
But I don't like short guys
He was still as freckled and baby-faced
That's so not my style
I still have the notes we shared
Although I have no idea where exactly it's located
He was so not my type
He was the exact opposite of everything I admire
He was too cutesy at the time
Too round
Too small
I was always taller than him
But I knew his birthday
And I wanted to hear from him for a long time after
Except I never did
And I used to pull the phonebook in my lap for like
The first year
Look up his mom and daydream about calling
I never, ever would
Then search for him on those
Networking sites
Sift through others' friend lists just hoping but
Nothing
There was something there I just know it
Three years' worth of childish longing
For what exactly
I don't know
We sat across from each other at lunch
I didn't like his 'girlfriend'
For that last year the buildup was insane
I laughed like an idiot at him and
Put my head in my arms
He threatened getting together with another girl
If I didn't own up to liking him
But I couldn't
I don't date I thought
We both knew it
We both knew I never would
And then there was the time he
Wrapped his arms around my jacket super quick
So short
I laughed and I don't remember what happened after
He left of course
Well, so did I
Just ten times more than he did
There are times when I wonder
What he looks like now
I'm certainly not the same
A lot of things have changed
I wonder if I put myself back in that place
If we'd pick up like we did
All those other times
What I fear is that connection
Never being re-ignited
What I fear is that
I don't want guys like that but
With him it was different
What I fear is that
I've missed that chance
I can say aych and be a total
Daydreaming fool
But there was something more concrete right in front of me
Four years in the making
And that's the truth
This is the last installment of Alarming Amounts of Poetry. :) I'm so sick of seeing it on the homepage. LOL. Y'all must be, too. Thanks for reading and being so great, o' loyal readers. I'd appreciate some feedback. Also, I'm curious as to how many people are actually reading these. If you've read and haven't commented, could you let me know just so I can get an idea? Thank you if you do that--that'd be really awesome. :) K'bye! Also, disclaimer: Sorry for cussing. :P I don't talk like that in real life. I just put what I was feeling, I guess. No more drama, I swear! Well, there will still be drama, but I think I'll stick to fiction for a bit.
Comments
Thank you!! :) I REALLY
Thank you!! :) I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT LAST COMMENT. Like, you don't even know! Thank you, thank you! I freaked and actually pulled a poem last-minute with this, so it feels kind of incomplete to me, but I'm glad you felt it was, you know, complete. Haha. :D
I agree with Erin - the last
I agree with Erin - the last poem felt a lot less abrupt. It felt more like a complete thought. I guess it wasn't, but I mean, you read my comments on some of the other pieces and how I felt a little disjointed, so in any case I'm glad that you can write stuff on a whim and still stick with it long enough to give me a sense of completion.
That said, I hope you don't feel like you have to write to please me or anything. Write because writing. Just giving you some followup.
I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief
Last one?!
Haha! But I think I would rather fiction from you Homey (I still LOVE RR), instead of poems, although a season of them was nice. :)
I really liked I Could Have Hoped. It just somehow really related and was mystical as well. I liked the idea behind it. :)
Know Better was written really well. Nice flow, word choice is good. Loved how you ended it.
Ditto to Erin! This Is Truth was really honest and I really enjoyed reading it. You are so good at putting feelings into poems!
I have posted some poems called Rose Thoughts. They are really random, but hey, I'd love your critique. :P
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
Thank you, thank you Maddi!
Thank you, thank you Maddi!
*sigh*
Wow! The END!!!! I loved every moment of these poems! Loved this series, and I thought that they really released a lot of greatness which was hiding in you for a while (if that makes sense?). I LOVE these! The end poem was so real, so true and so raw that it made my heartache! The poem is sweet, and bitter... and truly lovely!
*sigh* I'm going to miss these! Thank you so much for sharing this! I know poetry can be very private, and very personal, so thank you for sharing so much of yourself through them!
Love ya SSS!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
That last one was so honest.
That last one was so honest. I think that it's the most complete poem you've written. I loved it. I actually liked this installment the best-it had a certain finality about it that I appreciated. I really relate to Know Better.
Anyway, I'm sad that this is the last installment, I really liked these! Great job!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond