A Grandmothers Hands

Good job Maddie. I particularly liked your lines, "That built a home, A family to mold". Your piece made me think of my grandmothers before they passed and how they were both foundations of strength for the family, but physically not strong.
I don't know if you're interested, but I'd love to read a companion piece to this from a grandmother's point of view? It seemed this piece was more from the grandchild's point of view. I know my grandmothers never thought of themselves as feeble :).

Maddie J-3

Sat, 03/01/2008 - 13:29

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Thanks!

Christa,
Thanks for your comment! I appreciate that some people read my terrible writing. This piece was actually inspired by my great-grandma. She has passed away and I am amazed at what an amazing life she has given my family because of the hard work she has put into it.

I also apologize too. After I had submitted this, I read over it a couple more times and thought,
"This might hurt someone’s feelings." I feel so bad that if some elderly woman were to stumble upon this, they would be hurt. I was trying to make this piece as good as it could possibly be, and ended up not liking it very much. So I am VERY sorry.

I would like to make it better though! Christa,
I am very interested in making this piece into a different point of view. But I am not sure how you thought of to do it? Could you explain a little farther?
Thank you SO much for you advise!
Maddie J-3

Velocity

Sat, 03/01/2008 - 16:27

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... NOT A TERRIBLE POEM... A GREAT POEM...

Hi maddie... I can see wut you mean...
but wen your reading this your thinking about an little old lady... not so much your own grandparents (cuz mine aren't like so old that they use a cain..) but this is a cool poem it shows that a grandmother can still use her hands for God, and is strong in that way.

(btw... i just asked my mom to read it but she thinks its a beautiful poem... (and something like it wouldn't hurt anyones feelings)

P.S. if someones grandma read this they'd probably like it. (u should ask a grandma)

(GOOD JOB!)
*happy face*

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The Truth will set you free.

Christa

Sat, 03/01/2008 - 18:10

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I agree with Velocity

You're a very good writer Maddie and I know most grandparents would be honored with your praise.

Here's something I was thinking, of course you can do your own... And I've left the final phrase all up to you :)

My hands
Not as young as once were
Smoothness replaced by
The roughness of years

My hands
Served me well
To brush away tears
And the pain of the ill

My hands
Wisdom has taken hold
While they built a home
And family they’ve mold

Maddie J-3

Sat, 03/01/2008 - 18:29

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Thank You!

Christa,
Thanks again for your comment! I love the poem that you created! It is a very good idea to see it from a different point of view. Thanks alot! And I will experiment with the poem. Thank you SO SO SO much!
Maddie J-3

Maddie J-3

Sat, 03/01/2008 - 18:32

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Velocity

Thank you for your encouragement! Since we have been commenting on each other's pieces alot, I'd like to get to know you a little better. You are a very talented writer. I am open for emails anytime!
Maddie J-3

Velocity

Sat, 03/01/2008 - 19:04

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ya...

thx. and ya i'd like to no u better too...... but my parents are kinda... um... wierd? or cautious or say i dont need to... about emailing people i dont know......
idk
*sad face*
=(
=(

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The Truth will set you free.