Sorry I took so long in writing this chapter. There’s this thing called ‘life’. Keeps me very busy.
I wrote this listening to some of Aalen Fideli’s music. Before you read, go track one of A.F. comments, and there is a link to his music. Click on Control Lost. Some people can write creatively with metal music blasting in their ears, and I’m one of them. Maths is a different subject.
***
Elise lifted her tear-stained face. She could hear something; a faint grating noise. Dashing the tears away with the back of her hand, she listened. There it was again! She concentrated on it, concentrated on it so hard she failed to notice her back was moving deeper and deeper into the wall. Then she felt it. Her body was slipping. She tried grasping the sides, but it was no use. She was falling, falling down, down. She braced herself for a hard landing, but—it never came.
Instead, she found herself lying on a carpet of green moss. A silky green mist enveloped the tall forest of trees about her. There was an ivory grey fountain; the soft tinkle of water played a sweet melody in her ears that was almost bewitching.
Elise stumbled her way over to it, mesmerized by the lazy twirls of the water. She focused her eyes on the crude letters engraved on base of the fountain:
Do you dare
Reach beneath my crystal waters
At the clamshell blue,
To unlock the secrets of
Decades past
What did that mean? Did she dare? Don’t do it, Elise, her conscience commanded her. Another voice interjected. Do it, Elise. What harm could come by it?
Overcome by a surge of impulse, Elise jabbed her finger at the clam shell. Instantly, there was a roar of thunder, and a wild wind started ripping up all the beautiful trees by their roots. She felt herself being hauled up into the storm; every hair on her head was being jerked pulled. Then all went black.
***
She tried to move her head. A searing pain shot up from her back to her neck. As she tried to make out her fuzzy vision, she was dimly aware of voices conversing in the semi-darkness.
“What is she doing here?”
“I don’t know, my lord! But she looks very much like her.”
“Yes, but what is she doing here? That’s what I want to know.”
“Have you considered that she might be the chosen one?”
The voices continued on in a subtle whisper. Elise let a groan escape her lips.
“Shhh, she’s stirring!”
She felt warm hands guide her to a sitting position, and a low, sort of raspy female voice came to her ears: “How’s your neck, dearie?”
Elise opened her eyes and tried to figure out the blurry images. Eventually she made out a female creature, half-human cross with something she just couldn’t quite make out. The creature had a dark blue coat draped over her whole body with a deep hood. Another figure made its way into Elise’s vision. This one was a definite male. Tall and thin, he also had a body-covering black cloak.
“Wher—where am I?” she asked.
The female creature bustled about a dark-looking cauldron while answering her question.
“This is the Gateway of Time, where everything is foreseen and decided of the past and future.” She was pouring a greeny liquid into a crystal wine glass.
Elise began to feel alarmed when she realised that the drink was meant for her. The creature advanced towards her, holding the cup out in front.
“Drink it,” Elise’s ears heard. She took the glass in her shaking hands. Maybe it was destiny that made her do it. Lifting the mouth of the cup, she pressed it to her lips. And drank.
I just wrote this without any editing, and I hope it makes sense and I haven't missed anything. Please comment and share your thoughts. Am I telling too much instead of showing? Btw, before I wasn't saying that Aalen Fideli's music was heavy metal. Not at all! :)
Comments
Awesome!
The only thing...you didn't tell what thoughts were swirling around her mind after she touched the clam. But you don't need to if you are a narrator who doesn't know her thoughts. You need to decide which voice you want, and stick to it.
But I must say-- Wow. Wow. So captivating. Such a great job, there, Maddi. I. Must. Have More.
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thankyou Lucy!! I'm glad you
Thankyou Lucy!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm going to leave it as it is, but in future I will try to have her thoughts. :) I just submitted the next chapter, so hang in there. I hope I'll stick to this story!
Thanks again for the encouragement, and God bless. :)
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
Wait--
You know Jostie Flicks too? I LOVE. THEM!!! "Same Here" is one of their bests.
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
YESSSS, I do!! Sarah A.
YESSSS, I do!! Sarah A. little sister got my little sister on to them, and...and...you can see how I got on to it. :) I have watched "Same Here" 4-5 times and still laughed. :D
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
Wonderful!
This is such a wonderful story! You've got me hooked.
I might mention, when you say
“Yes, but is she doing here? That’s what I want to know.”, do you mean
“Yes, but what is she doing here? That’s what I want to know.”?
Keep writing!
(I love Jostie flicks! My favorite is 'Mr. Lonely'.)
"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."
Thanks Susannah! That's my
Thanks Susannah! That's my goal!
Oh, hehe. Yes thanks, that's what it is meant to be. :)
Good to see you on here. We hope to see more of you! (that's a hint to post...)
Ah, yes I like that one. My favourite is 'Same Here' and the new one 'Wake Up'.
Like your sig.
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
APOLOGIES
I will be absent for two weeks. I'll read everyone's posts when I get back. And I might just be writing while I'm away, so maybe the next chapter will be ready by then! :) Maddi
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh