Heart Torment

Submitted by Maddi on Sun, 08/18/2013 - 06:59

1. Heart Torment

Razor blades
Sear through the
Delicate heartstrings,
Breaking the fragile
Plaster mould
Deep in the core of the heart.

Relationships cast ragged rifts
Dreams become morbid nightmares
Days of forsakeness stretch
Without end.

Horrid claws
Tear and rip
At my lifeless heart,
While all familiar ground
Is torn to bitter shreds.

2. Emotional Pain

I.
Lying in bed,
Tossing, turning,
Each corruptible
Thought tryin' to overrule
The other.

It takes its toll
Lashing out on people
Kicking myself on the on the inside.

Endless nights of broken sleep
Did it hurt? Can I fix it?
How do I get outa this stupid mess?

II.

I've said several sorries,
They've said it's all okay,
They totes understand,
They say.

But do they really?
Is it real?

Because it wrecked...

Something.

3. Okay

The hardest thing is
To just agree, say
Yep, okay

But inside, really?
Is that really okay?
Of course not, are you kidding yourself?
You would never want it that way.

Their reasons are perfect,
But hardly any fair.

" You haven't given them a chance, "

Do they listen?
Understand?
Uh-uh
No way.

Can't resist
Can't compromise,
Can't do a single thing
But say--

Okay.

4. Wake-up Call

I.

People talking
Making noise
Cards shuffling
Phones beeping

My heart suddenly stops
I realise what's
Been happening
An I feel dead inside
My torn heart.

I.I.

Anger at myself,
Wanting to pull my
Mattered hair up
By its cursed dreadlocks.

How could I be so oblivious?
Was that really how I acted?
I didn't even realise
I did something totally wrong.

5. Missing

I miss it,
So badly
I feel I could never
Talk again.

Never face that person again.
Never feel we were on the same page again.
Never sit down easily with them again.
Never smile again.
Never
Never
Never

Never talk again.

Author's age when written
14
Genre
Poetry
Notes

I wrote these poems ages ago. And yeah, they are a little exaggerated. Just in case you were wondering. Comment, critique! :D

Comments

E

Mon, 08/26/2013 - 20:39

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Nice job! I especially liked Wake-Up Call, I and Emotional Pain, II.

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Maddi

Wed, 08/28/2013 - 01:18

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Thankyou sooooooo much! It makes my perfect day when people comment. Thanks very much.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Madeline

Wed, 08/28/2013 - 01:48

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Just now getting around to commenting! Better late than never, I guess. Haha! Glad to see you're posting. :)

1. Heart Torment
Well, first off, I just love the word torment. Something about it's just...really lovely. Despite its meaning. I love the line: "Breaking the fragile/Plaster mould." Okay, actually, reading this over...I kind of love almost every single line in this poem. Your imagery was plain fantastic. I love the way you pair things in this (razor blades sear/delicate heartsrings/cast ragged rifts/morbid nightmares/days of forsakeness/bitter shreds).

2. Emotional Pain
"Did it hurt? Can I fix it?" I love those lines. They're so pleading, and really harried when paired with the rest of the poem. Perfection, those seven words.

II. I like Emotional Pain number two as well. The first two lines and the last two.

3. Okay
Really like this as well. The second stanza is a standout. How you rhymed everything just ties that all together to the point where just that could have stood alone. A poem within a poem, almost.

4. Wake-up Call
I especially like Wake-up Call number two. I get that feeling--the, "Seriously. Did I just do that?" It expressed that frustration perfectly.

5. Missing
I wasn't able to relate this one to me as much, but it seemed really genuine at the same time.

Lovely job, Maddi! Keep it up!

Maddi

Thu, 08/29/2013 - 00:03

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Thanks for your comment, Homey! Yes, I'm glad I'm posting too.
I love the word 'torment' as well! Partly the reason I used it. :)
Thanks for your lovely comment!

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Anonymous (not verified)

Thu, 09/05/2013 - 02:50

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I really like this. Count on girls to write about love. I liked Heart Torment the best. :)