You say you value
My words
But do you really?
You claim you do
Really listen
So I can’t say no.
I can’t get a taste of
Your mind
But I can take a whiff
From here.
You trap me
Saying your
Mistreatment
Is all
In my fantasy
So you’re my hero
But are you really?
You engage me
In your fantasy
So I can be
Your damsel in distress
But I know
I certainly
Am not.
You’re not really.
But everyone
Knows you
But do I
Open up?
Shall I be
A liar
In your world
Or a heroine
In mine?
I forsake
my truth
For the sake
Of yours
But should I?
Shall I be
A lion
To me,
And forsake
Your truth
For my sake?
I am a lion
With stitched lips
A mighty roar
Hidden behind
Fear-filled
Sutures.
Inspired to try out free verse FOR THE FIRST TIME. Please give me any critique! I've never done this before so I'd like plenty of tips if you have any!
Comments
These lines are soooo good:
These lines are soooo good: (and sophisticated)
"I am a lion
With stitched lips
A mighty roar
Hidden behind
Fear-filled
Sutures."
The idea of lion with stitched lips is entirely new imagery to me and I loved it.
Oh wow thank you so much
Oh wow thank you so much girls! It's so nice to have such encouraging feedback on my first try!
Yes writing the last few lines were definitely my favorite part of this poem ;)
Introverts unite!
Separately!
From the comfort of your own homes!
Read this before you
Read this before you published it and totally forgot to comment but Madalyn Clare you will NEVER cease to amaze me :) I love how much you love to experiment and it's truly inspiring to me. You nailed this like a master!
When I worship, I would rather my heart be without words than my words be without heart.
Love! Love! Love!! Those last
Love! Love! Love!! Those last lines are definitely my favorite as well, but probably because you led so perfectly to them. This had direction and it's beautiful. Well done.
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Thank you, Brighid and
Thank you, Brighid and Kassady!
Introverts unite!
Separately!
From the comfort of your own homes!
I LOVE THIS!! The last four
I LOVE THIS!! The last four lines are my favorite. :) <3 Ending with "Sutures" was very clever. Love.
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.