When you miss someone,
what do you do?
Cry,
laugh,
try to cover it up
like you don’t
care?
Do you write about it
or tell anyone else
or cry into your
bedsheets
at night?

Why do we care?
Why should I care
about someone who’s
in my life
for just a short time
and then
leaves?
It doesn’t make sense, but
I care.
I let myself love
and laugh
and relate.
Then all of the sudden,
it all goes…

away.

I mean,
isn’t that
life?

He’s gone,
grown up,
changed.
The day he
walked on the airplane,
left us
and said
‘goodbye’,
I didn’t let myself
cry.
I smiled and
acted like I didn’t…
care.

When we talk on the phone
it’s like he’s the
same person, but
different.
That’s what hurts
the most.
We were best friends.
And now,
something’s gone wrong.
I email him—
and he doesn’t
respond.

It’s like he doesn’t
care.

I won’t deny—
I miss him…
wholeheartedly,
fiercely
miss
him.
And sometimes
I wish I didn’t.
I wish I couldn’t.
I wish I didn’t have
feelings…

but I do.

I even hate him—
sometimes—
because I want him to
come home.
I want him to
regret
his decision
to leave us.
But do I?

All I want is for
time to turn
back;
to sing with him,
laugh,
make fun,
just live like we did
before.
I want to be happy
and enjoy the
close relationship we had
before.
I want to listen to
movie soundtracks,
guess which ones come from
which movie,
dance to the beat
when no one’s around…

Just like before.

Am I wrong?