Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far way there was an ugly, disgusting, yucky smelling Prince. But he had such a nice singing voice that he made everyone adore him anyway. One day he was taking a walk through the forest. (His horse wouldn't carry him. he was too fat)

He heard a lovely voice that was as wonderful as his except that it was a girl's voice. "Hmm," he thought to himself, I think I'll go woo this lovely maiden." Even though he hadn't yet seen her he knew she was beautiful. Don't ask me how. So he waddled as fast as he could toward the sound of her voice. When he finally saw her, he found that she was as lovely as he knew she would be. Unlike him, her voice matched her looks. She was hanging laundry on a line. The Prince knew what to do. Even before he revealed himself to her, her started singing harmony to her song which happened to be one that everyone in the whole world knows. It goes something like this:

"Lalalalalalalalalalalala"

I'm sure you've heard it. Anyway, when the girl heard the Prince singing, she immediately stopped her song and looked about, frightened.

"Who- Who's there?" She called out in a tremulous voice, doing her best to sound brave just like her mother taught her to be.

"It is I, your true love" sang out the prince. That was funny, the girl started to feel less afraid and more amused.

"Oh really, I didn't even know that I had a true love. Come out and show yourself."

"I would, but I am afraid." The prince was still singing he had an annoying-to-listen-to speaking voice.

"Afraid of what? And what's you name anyway? Responded the fair maid. Now she was getting annoyed and was wondering if he would ever stop singing.

"An evil fairy godmother has put a curse upon me and I am no longer well to look at. If you see me you will hate me. My name is Hugh"

"An evil fairy godmother. Hugh. Got it. Now come out where I can see you or I'll get my pet ogre."

"Very well, but please do not run in fear of mine ugliness." The Prince stepped into the open.

"You know you wouldn't look so bad if you took a bath sometime this century, and combed your hair, and went on a MAJOR weight loss program, and had any taste in clothes, and" The Prince stopped her.

"Perhaps but if a fairy puts a curse on you how can you break it?"

"STOP SINGING!!! IT"S DRIVING ME ABSOLUTLY BATTY!"

"Very well" said the prince.

"ooh." said the girl "Maybe I should let you sing after all."

"Very well" sang Prince Hugh.

"So, were there any loopholes in this here curse? My names Helen By the way."

"Helen, lovely name. The loophole was to get a fair maiden, whose name starts with H and ends in an N to fall in love with me despite my appearance and the sound of my voice."

"Well, good luck with that." said Helen and now that she had figured out what Hugh was really up to, she took out her wand that she had been hiding under her skirt, and with a flick of her wrist, stuck a spell on him. "So, what I've done is this, I made it so that if you get a girl who's name starts with an H and ends with and N to fall in love with you, you will be handsome and have a decent speaking voice. But you have to learn manners and never lie. Until then, you won't be able to sing. Just try!"

"What?" the Prince tried to sing but it come out in a normal speaking voice.

“Oh you didn’t know I was a fairy? Your problem.” With that, Helen turned and marched into the house, highly pleased with herself, leaving a dumfounded Prince Hugh standing there.

THE END

Moral 1: DOn't try to woo anyone you aren't sure isn't a fairy because fairies are terribly tempermental.

Moral 2: Take a bath