Brother My Butt
I've never been good,
At having male friends, 
They always dig themselves, 
Deep into my brain, 
Or maybe my brain digs them into my heart? 
Engraining them
Entangling them,
In a jumbled mess of innuendos, 
Sideways glances taken too literally. 
That is why, 
"Brother," I just can't do it, 
Why I rock on my heals, 
Biting my nails, 
Afraid to just pick up where we left off. 
So petrified to plunge back in, 
Back into the swirling trap of emotions, 
The trap that so often calls out, 
Like a siren, 
Luring me in too close to the shores, 
Can't take breaking anymore. 
That face is not friendly, 
Platonic just withers under your smile, 
There is no way I can believe, 
That I'll be immune to that face. 
"Maybe," 
Says that small voice, 
But it's drowned out by those loud screams,
Those background screamers of truth. 
"Oh no!" Yells that part of my heart, 
With bruises just fading to a scar.
There is no way, 
I could trust myself with you, 
There is no way,
That friendship could never lead,
To pathetic daydreaming. 
Loyalty will always physically tie me, 
But my mind wanders easily, 
And I've been burned by you before, 
Having drowned in my own tears. 

New Word  
Malleable mind, 
Easily bent to and fro, 
Easy to be changed, 
Easy to twist to match my, 
Malleable heart, 
Bending at the slightest touch, 
And like putty, 
Melting and forming, 
Under the influence of your malleable words. 

Sleeping Beauty 
Eyes closed
Breathe shallows 
Then deepens
Lips parting slightly
Your sleeping face
Leaves me smiling
Admiring this gentle side
Passive in sleep
Falling softly into dreams
Eyes open
Shot up quickly
Lips smack as eyes blink
And you shift away 
From slumber sweet
Though for how long?
Your eyes droop automatically
Your heavy head rests
Upon your soft pillow
So sleepy
So sweet 
And I stare 
Grinning like an idiot 
As my heart swells in adoration

Wednesday
Wednesday's suck, 
My heart sinking every minute,
I'm away from you. 
Wednesday's drain me, 
Sucking the energy, 
Leaving my with a gaping hole, 
Longing only to be with you.
So badly, 
Gotta be with you,
Wanna be with you, 
Can't be with you, 
And I'm in agony.
My heart moans and wails, 
Crying out, 
Lonely despite your smiling face, 
Beaming back at me through the screen, 
Lighting up my face, 
With a similar smile. 

You Know It
You're crazy, 
And I love it,
Makes me feel like I can be myself. 
You're loving, 
And I adore that, 
The way you make me feel. 
You're handsome, 
And you know it, 
Even if you aren't a super model. 
You're weird, 
And I treasure that, 
Knowing that I'm safe to be also. 
You're comfortable, 
And I enjoy it, 
When your arms envelope me tenderly. 
You're unique, 
And you know it, 
The way you act is so different. 
You're mine, 
And I love it,
Because I can see you blossoming, 
Into someone amazing, 
Right before my eyes. 

Choking Silence
I was wrong, 
You haven't changed, 
And it amazes me to think, 
That we're still together,
When this silence threatens, 
To choke both of us. 

Breaking and Broken
Everything falls, 
Like a feeble wall, 
Crumbling down, 
As the foundation was weak. 
Breaking, my heart bleeds, 
between the cracks. 
I hate the anticipation, 
Of what I must do, 
And somehow I think, 
You know something is wrong. 
Silently looking miserable, 
I hate what I have to do, 
Hate having to see, 
That broken hearted look,
Hating that feeling, 
That of my own breaking heart. 
It all makes sense, 
It must be done, 
But that doesn't make it less, 
Any less hard to follow through. 
I hate it, 
I hate it, 
I hate what I have to do to you, 
Hate this responsibility, 
But it must be done, 
Eventually, 
So why not here and now?