The Cave

Submitted by James on Sun, 03/28/2010 - 02:37

Along the beach, I saw a cave
In which lay everlasting night;
And being (I thought) bold and brave,
I for adventure felt a crave,
And turned my back on day and light.

Inside I paused, and peered around
And as my eyes adjusted, saw
That bones were littered on the ground
The bones of men, caught by a hound
And torn by some cruel iron claw.

And on the wall, did signs appear,
All writ with blood and words of death:
'Come deeper in these halls, come near
And join our fate – forsake your fear!'
And then I felt the monster’s breath.

I turned to flee, escape I sought,
But far away the light now shone;
I’d delved much deeper than I thought;
All hope was gone, I’d sure be caught!
Some demon sought my flesh and bone.

I ran for all my quaking heart;
A hundred feet came close behind:
The souls whose bones were ripped apart
Began to grasp, and ’round me dart
Their ghostly ropes and icy bind.

Too late for them! Into the day
I leapt for life, and ’scaped their snare;
A chilling scream of hate gave way,
The demon’s bones had lost its prey.
I fled and never came back there.

Yet still on cold and windy nights
I hear that scream of rage for me
From deep within that tomb of wights
Arising from the monster’s spites!
I shudder, sigh, and sip my tea.

Genre
Poetry

Comments

Anna

Mon, 03/29/2010 - 20:30

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The underworld's after your soul and you're drinking tea... that's very British.

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

Julie

Wed, 03/31/2010 - 15:07

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I agree about the last line--it's terribly ironic.

Formerly Kestrel

Laura Elizabeth

Thu, 04/01/2010 - 21:01

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Aside from two misspelled words ('shutter' should be 'shudder' and on the second line of the last verse 'here' should be 'hear'), I loved this! It was very exciting. Your rhyming and metre are very well done; I sometimes get tired of non-rhyming verse. Two thumbs up :)

*************************************************
The best stories are those that are focused, unassuming, and self-confident enough to trust the reader to figure things out. --

http://lauraeandrews.blogspot.com/2014/05/dont-tell-me-hes-smart.html

Heather

Mon, 04/05/2010 - 22:55

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Thanks James--since Justin's working the evening shift I'll now have to keep all the lights on and make sure nothing's creeping in my stairwell. :0)

That was very creepy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

James

Wed, 04/07/2010 - 02:21

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Thank you all for your comments.

Hannah W:  Why Thank you.

Anna & Kestrel:  That's the great thing about being Irish: you can easily imitate the British.  It doesn't work so well the other way 'round.  Yes, quite ironic.

Laura Elizabeth:  How thoroughly humiliating, to realize I made such a classic mistake ('here' instead of 'hear').  But shutter is a more forgivable error:  I was thinking with a British accent, and this affected my spelling.  I'm glad you like the rhyming.

Christa:  Thanks!  Yes, do try it.

Heather:  Well, I can hardly put it any better than that.   ...And, by the way, congratulations.

 

 

<><~~~~~~~~~~~~><>
"The idea that we should approach science without a philosophy is itself a philosophy... and a bad one, because it is self-refuting." -- Dr. Jason Lisle