The Captain Club: The Adventure in King's Forest Part 1

Submitted by j. Glen pollard on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 21:03

JULIUS HELD THE FOOTBALL in his hand. He breathed slowly, praying his adversary would not leave him lying on the grass beaten and defenseless. His best friend, Mark, yelled at him: “TTTTHHHRRROW THE BAAAAAAAALLL!”

Even if Mark had been speaking in a loud mic, Julius could barely make out what he was saying. Everything was in slow motion. Leonardo was running toward him, two hands outstretched. Julius darted to the left, hoping to make the touchdown. Then, he heard him: his enemy.
Oh NO! Julius thought. Not now! Oh man! Julius didn’t turn back, and he didn’t need to. He could feel his opponent breathing down his leg…. Literally. Suddenly, Julius saw the two cones that stood for the touchdown. I can make it! Julius told himself. I can make it! We can win! We can— but, it was not meant to be. Julius tumbled, and landed on his arm, the football only a centimeter away. Then, Julius could hear the hot breath of his dog, Captain, who had tackled him.

“Come on Captain,” Julius said, “why do you ALWAYS have to tackle me. It gets so annoying!” Mark chuckled. Julius lifted his head so he could see his now once-best friend.

“Hah! Probably he knows he can get you better than anyone else.”

“Yeah,” jeered Horace, one of the boys.

“You realized that this is my backyard, right?” Julius said. He sat up and watched as the rest of the gang crowded around him. There was: LEONARDO (which they named him that for his artistic and inventing mind), MARK ANTONY (which they called him for his history with pretty girls), HORACE (which they named for his love of poetry and nature), VIRGIL (which they called for his memory of history) and JULIUS himself (whose real name was John but since he was such a good leader they called him Julius, like Julius Caesar). CAPTAIN was also there and you could say he was the mascot of the club of boys. That was why the boys were known by one name: The Captain Club.
As Captain licked his master’s hand, Julius’s dad Mr. Parker, walked outside. He wore a huge smile on his face, huger than his usual. That could only mean one thing: they were going camping.

“Pack your bags fellas’, we’re going camping!”

“Whoohoo!” the boys cried together. Captain jumped up and down, barking happy remarks.

“And I’m coming with you,” said a voice from the wooden deck above them. Julius looked up and saw Leo’s sister, Julia, which suited her name because she acted so much like Augustus Caesar’s daughter, Julia Caesar. Leo’s sister had tied her hair in a bun and wore a pair of black skorts* and a pink top that said: 'Girl’s can camp too!'. This was given from one of her friends for her birthday a few weeks before. Leo groaned.

“Did Mom and Dad say you can come?” he asked.

Julia nodded. “Uh huh. Mom said that if you can go camping with your friends then I should come with you too since she let you go to that camp last month.” Julia stuck out her tongue. “Hah-hah!”

“Grrr!” Leo growled. “Come on Julia, we better get home.” So Leo stomped up the steps and led Julia back to their house so they could pack.
Julius smirked. “Now I’m totally glad my little sister Dianne is only one year old.”

THE NEXT DAY, THE Captain Club was packed into the Parker’s family van.
It was a fifteen-passenger, and since there were only ten people (Mrs. Parker and Virgil’s dad came along also) there was enough room for the camping gear such as the tents, sleeping bags and SACKS and SACKS of frozen hot dogs and marshmallows to be cooked around the camp fire. It took all of Julius’s strength to keep Captain locked in his cage on the floor.
Five very long hours of the Road Alphabet Game the boys (and girl) finally made it to their campsite. People called it King’s Forest, probably because of all the sightings of cougars and bears, the kings of the American forest.
About an hour of unpacking and setting up, the group had their own campsite.

“It’s kind of cozy,” Julia said.

“I agree,” Mrs. Parker said with a sigh of relief. It took a lot of work to finish but the boys still had enough energy for adventure.

“Father,” said Virgil, “would it be possible if I could explore our surroundings with my class peers and have a small venture into the forest?” (As Virgil also knew about history he also talked like a historian).

Mr. Walker smiled. “Sure son, go ahead.”

“Whoohoo! Come on guys, let’s go!” Leo yelled as he climbed up a small slope. Julius called to Captain. “Come on Captain!”

Captain barked. “Yap! Yap!”

The boys walked around the forest for about several minutes before they heard Julia shouting at them. “GGUUYS! Wait up! WAIT UPPPPP!”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Why did I have to have such an annoying sister?”

Mark shrugged. “I don’t get it? My older sister leaves me alone fine.”

Leo eyes squinted at Mark in an annoyed fashion. “Um, that’s probably because your sister is sixteen! My sister is eleven. That’s a huge difference! Anyway, I've got a plan: let’s do something that’s so boring, that she’ll have to leave us alone. Anyone got anything?”

The Club thought for a minute, then Virgil suddenly clicked his fingers.
“I got it. Let’s make an acorn storage out of a stump for the squirrels!” The boys were about to object when they remembered it wasn’t supposed to be for fun. So they started gathering acorns. By the time Julia had had gotten through the forest, the boys had filled half the stump.

“Hey guys, that’s no fair! Why didn’t you wait for me?” Julia whined. Leo shrugged carelessly. “We didn’t know you wanted to help.”

Julia growled. “Ugh!” Julia stomped away into forest, kicking leaves everywhere.

“Oh come, guys,” Horace said a few minutes later. Horace was always fond of Julia (for some strange reason) which made him persuade the Club to let her in their affairs. “We should let her help.”

Virgil snickered. “Of course you would,” he mocked, “Mr. Lover-Boy.”

Horace turned red. “I am not a ‘Lover-Boy!’ Cut it out! Unlike Mark I don’t think about girls ever time I breathe.”

“AHHHH!”

“RROOOOOOOOAR!” Suddenly, there was a high screech and a LOUD roar coming from the other end of the forest.
Leo stopped.

“Oh no.”

It was Julia.

Author's age when written
13
Genre

Comments

Hey! :) Welcome to AP!
I liked this and can't wait for more! :)
It's neat you know Megan :)
~Sarah

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

@Sarah Andrews: Thanks!! I was really nervous because I didn't know how the readers would take it! Also, I'll try to squeeze sometime in to check your blog.

@Lucy Anne: Thanks also! Oh yeah, I get right on our "secret project".
@AP: I was wondering if you readers (and fellow writers) would comment what would think as the best ending for the story. I'll chose what would be the best for the story and the characters.

Thank very much for letting me join!

"The trip is a difficult one. I will not be myself when I reach you."-When I Reach Me.

Haha, I can just picture Julia being annoying ;) I used to be like that -- just I had to stay home :)

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

*turns Gmail on* :)

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

I am so happy that you joined (even though the beginning experiences have been confusing for you)! I am really sure that you'll enjoy every bit of your time here.

I guess I told you this in person, but maybe I'll repeat it for keepsake's sake. I love how all the characters all have different personalities. Keep writing! -- Megan

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like this opening. It's fun. I like all of their nicknames, and wonder where all this set-up will go. Looking forward to more!

The only thing I noticed was you wrote: "Even if Mark was speaking in a loud microphone," but it should probably be "Even if Mark had been speaking..."

Anyway, welcome to AP!! Love it when new people come. I'm Maddi! I'm from Australia, hence why the strange subject line of my comment....

Love all their nicknames...and all related to history too! I just finished doing Roman history. And I loved the first paragraphs...well written and engaging. Looking forward to seeing you more on AP!

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

@Maddi: Thanks! I also like Roman History, but the biggest reason why I named them after Roman history figures is because I am doing World History this year for school.

@Kyleigh: Thanks for pointing it out. Also, did any of you see the Note Title(s)?

"The trip is a difficult one. I will not be myself when I reach you."-When I Reach Me.

   First off, I must say that this story reminds me of the Sugar Creek Gang, at least the first part, because of their nick names.

   You're introduction is wonderful. I like it a lot.

   One thing: "SACKS and SACKS of frozen hot dogs and marshmallows." Generally, the frozen hot dogs would be inside of a cooler. But maybe I'm too much of a debater, and analyze things too much!  :)

   Overall good chapter, and I'm excited to see where you're going to take this.

   I don't know specifically how to end this story. I would like to see, though, before this ends, that some of the persons grow in their character. Specifically that Leo and his sister would learn to appriciate each other and get along better.

   Yes, I saw the Note Title.

"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."

@Arthur: When you said it is like the Sugar Creek Gang, is that a good thing or a bad thing. Are you saying its good because it shows creativity or is it bad because its like I'm copying it off? Just wanting your opinion since you've been on here longer. :)

"The trip is a difficult one. I will not be myself when I reach you."-When I Reach Me.

I don't want to put words in Arthur's mouth, I think he meant that is a good thing (tell me if I am wrong, Arthur). I did enjoy the Sugar Creek Gang movies (though I've only watched it one) so if I were you, I would take that comment as a good thing.

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Though I've only read the first book, I like the series. I do especially like the nick names.

   Copying. First off, I don't ever assume that someone is copying something else. Many times a writer does something that they came up with themselves, but is very similar to something else a different writer put into a story. Second, I don't find a fault in copying, as long as the story itself doesn't seem like the same as something else, but with different names. Your story seems to me very original, and therefore I find no fault in it.

Megan: I've seen one of the episodes, but didn't like it, as it dropped one of the characters and added a different one.

"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."

Really? I saw the movie (I don't remember anything about it (except the whole gang falling off the boat but it seemed like they just jumped off) but that I liked it) in a car ride to a homeschool convention almost four years ago (?).

I should read the book; it's always in our church library, but I guess what's stopped me is that I don't like mysteries written lately (Sherlock Holmes, Tom Swift, etc is good) for its too often perfect endings and the police just ALWAYS get the bad guys...my unpopular opinion, that's all. -- Megan

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I totally agree! Books like the "Hardy Boys" and "Nancy Drew" are sometimes too easy for the reader to solve. My favorite mysteries are "Encyclopedia Brown", & "The Three Investigators".

P.S. Also, if any were wondering, the "P" in "Jimmy P." stands for "Pollard", which is my last name.

"The trip is a difficult one. I will not be myself when I reach you."-When I Reach Me.

   I don't like to read those kind of books either, and that's maybe why I didn't read anymore. I find that they become very unreallistic, and altogether boring. The first book was very creative and original, but series like that usually become cheezie. I have to say that my favorite mistery writer is Agatha Christie.

   It's not that the movie is bad, it's just that when a movie deviates a lot from the book, the movie is wrecked for me. (Sort of like Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader)

"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."

Jimmy P. - I didn't know you didn't like mysteries! I'm not allowed to read Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew...so, well actually, I'm not allowed to read many mysteries which count Boxcar and ABC mysteries since they tend to keep out the adults and leave in the children (the Boxcar grandfather always has somewhere to go, if you look closely).

Arthur: Yes! Prince Caspian is a wonderful example. (Though I do like the ending song "No Need to Say Goodbye" since every word seems to fit Narnia and it wasn't even written for it and I also love how the producer built up the tension to make you cheer for the Narnians and their clever battle plans i.e. in the battle scene Peter counting down from 10 and then the Narnians underground cutting down the ground's foundation).

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nancy Drew books are quite predictable, agreed.
Megan, the song at the end of P.C. is called "The call". I like it too!
I like reading mysteries that leave me guessing....always exciting. I used to LOVE reading the boxcar children when I was younger!
I once saw an episode of the Sugar Creek Gang...and it was soooo boring. Every 5 minutes there was filming of the water/trees for 7 minutes. Maybe a little exaggerated, but it was quite the boring film. :) Anyway, so now I've said my bit.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Oh no! It's not that I don't like mysteries: I do!
. . . . .
Just not those kind.... I like mysteries you can solve (Like "Encyclopedia Brown") and mysteries that kids actually can solve in their surroundings (like "The Three Investigators").

I think I saw one of Sugar Creek Gang Videos at the Schwartz's once when I was like 7 years old, or something but it didn't feel like a mystery to me... More like an adventure Brianna, Avery, Ben, Sarah, Isaac, Isaiah and I could have or actually DID have. I'll put the story on when I have the chance.

"The trip is a difficult one. I will not be myself when I reach you."-When I Reach Me.

Wow! This is really good! Very descriptive. Very well done. Keep it up! I can't wait to read more.

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!