Faces in the Wind

Submitted by Timothy on Mon, 02/11/2008 - 02:05

One speck on a solitary hill, standing
Outlined against the green, watching
Flowered plains stretching, empty
While birds swoop, flashing
A sudden blot of red, soaking
Into trampled mud, churning
Hooves grinding fragile petals
Swaying peacefully in the breeze, catching
Wisps of hair on a solitary hill, above
Distant eyes, staring, dimly down
Into rocky glades, stones sharp as swords
Cutting, shattering against metal, hanging
Suspended among screams, mud churned with red
Birds soaring, swooping gently in the silence
Above a solitary hill, one speck, seeing
Faces in the wind of past, kneeling
On emerald grass above flowered field
And rocky glade, kissing
A timeworn relic, a rusted blade, turning
Leaving silence on a solitary hill

Author's age when written
17
Genre

Comments

I must pose the same question: I saw myself standing on a hill, overlooking a field on which some ancient battle took place. But what battle?

"There are no great men of God. There are only pitiful, sorry men whose God is great beyond measure." - Paul Washer [originally Jonathan Edwards]

Well, I'm glad that's what you saw, because that's what I was hoping would come across. With my poetry, I never know if I'm actually communicating. :P

I wasn't thinking of any battle in particular. Any battle, any place will fit.

You know, I really don't like that last line. I may change it . . .

:D
It was sort of reminding me of Gettysburg until the end... But I really like your new way of writing. Great job again. :)

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"We have been created for greater things. Why stoop down to things that will spoil the beauty of our hearts?" ~Mother Theresa

Another great poem. Maybe it needs a few more syllables on the last line?

When I read this it formed a picture in my mind, of some place where some medieval battle took place. Extremely excellent!
Serving Him,
Nathanaelâ€

We are waiting for the long-promised invasion.
So are the fishes. ~ Winston Churchill

I love this piece of yours. Like many of your things it is wonderful. :)

~*~
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.