Bestest.
The word was bittersweet in her mouth as she gazed down at me. I was actually taller than her, I knew that for a fact, but she was wearing those intimidating stilettos again. I had an awful time balancing in a pair of heels. I don’t know how she did it. And anyway, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t a stiletto type of girl.
“So you had fun?”
DISCLAIMER: Contains mature thematic content (i.e. mentions drunk driving, one strong word edited with asterisks)
DISCLAIMER: Mild language, edited out with asterisks :).
Monday.
At 1:15am the moon will rise over a greenish Uranus, I don’t know what to say to him, I say I’m in love but yet I hate these awkward pauses, football football farmer’s almanac, maybe I’m not as desperate as I thought, yes he is attractive and wonderful, but this is sort of liberating, we’re just friends I am declaring it as true.
It's happening. I'm leaving. I'm becoming a storybook character. I'm moving away - far away. I know one person there. I will be starting all over. This is something I've always kind of wanted to do, and I am terrified. And I can't wait. What is it about me that makes me want to throw my entire life into the craziest venture I can come up with? Because this is insane. Truly and certifiably so. And I'm doing it. I am. You can't change my mind. An army of tanks led by a cannibalistic group of Nazis couldn't. But oh, I am so scared.
And yet here I come.
Monday.
He made things happen for me today
His blue eyes smiled from dawn till dusk
He told me I’d do good things
I believed him and I still do
I’m on cloud nine right now
I’m feeling so much less empty
Not so alone
Things are finally coming together.
Tuesday.
I like my new friends
I’m busy
All the time
With school, with work
They fit into my schedule
Conveniently
Like puzzle pieces
1. First Dates
I’ll never forget the first time he ran his hand through my hair. I was engulfed in the way he looked at me: like I was a treasure, like I meant something. I’ll remember the chilly autumn air and the shudder in my bones when his chapped lips met mine. I’ll remember how embarrassed I was when I pulled away from him in surprise. “Nonono, I didn’t mean to, do it again!” I recall crying, shoving my hands in my pockets. I remember how he laughed at me and after a period of begging, he kissed me again with his chapped lips and I didn’t pull away.
Might as well have stuffed explosives down my throat
They've found a way to blow up my heart
An elephant is sleeping on my chest and it won't listen to me, it won't get
off
The scent of the end has wafted in through my window
We are going to decay
Like a dead mouse hidden by undergrowth
Hold on tight, it's almost over.
Without you, the sun would be too heavy to rise,
The moon would fall down from the skies,
The stars would go out one by one,
The darkest clouds on earth would come.
With you, my world is made so bright.
You give every second light.
You are the world, and you are mine.
My every day, and my sunshine.
1. Snapshots
I sometimes wish I could catch
those special moments with a camera
plant them in my mind and never stop seeing them
replay them over and over in my head
you are beautiful
when you look at me that way
my heart does things that a human heart shouldn’t
have the ability to do while I’m still breathing
like stop for a few breaths
then let it go again
please just let me
love you like you know I can
Welcome to our world of dreams,
Where everything is as it seems.
All of it is cut and dried,
And we'll never die,
Just never say goodbye...
When I look up I see your face,
Smiling at me with love and grace,
You're so beautiful to me,
And I know I'll never leave.
Just never say goodbye.
In this world we see,
Who we're meant to be,
And by your side, I know
That my love was meant to grow,
And we'll never say goodbye.