I may smile for the camera
I might fool my friends with laughter
When I was 15 I was a bubbly, outgoing girl. I spent as much time as possible with my friends, and was called a social butterfly by many.
But underneath the lies
You will find the truth that hides

"Jules?"
"Mm?" She licked her dry, cracked lips and yawned, kicking the blanket off of her lap while she swung her feet around to touch the floor. She rubbed her eyes. "Wait, where am I?"
Greta smiled. "You're still in the waiting room."

Jules rushed into the kitchen and gasped for breath. "Kevin, he's not waking up! He's breathing, and he has a pulse, but he's not waking up. Should I call 911?"
"Yes! Yes. Or would it be faster for us to take him to the hospital ourselves?"

Jules tossed and turned for a while before flinging her covers off. She swung her feet down into the soft carpet and sighed, rubbing her forehead. After flicking on her bedside lamp, she reached for the leather-backed book. She began to thumb through its pages before setting it down again. Jules wrapped her flannel robe around her and pattered quietly down the stairs, pausing to sit on the landing. She huddled there in the dark, burying her chin in her knees with her arms wrapped around her legs. A gentle hand touched her shoulder and she almost jumped out of her skin.

Minutes had turned to hours, and Martin was still stretched out on his cot in the corner of the little hospital room. Jules took a peek at him. He was sound asleep, his black hair making his face look even more pale than it already was. She noted the dark circles forming around his eyelids with a bit of concern. He had never been able to handle stress very well, and this was the worst she had seen him. If he wasn't careful to rest he'd need a caretaker, too. She heard a sigh from behind her, and turned her attention back towards the hospital bed. She spoke softly. "Margaret?"

In the car Sunday morning Jules held her Bible in her lap. She thumbed distractedly through its pages. She sighed.
"Jules?"
"Yes, Grandad?"
"Is something wrong?"
"No, not really. I'm just-I haven't seen anyone here for nearly three years, and I'm such and awkward person."
Duncan chuckled. "Dear, you've seen Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy. And Martin, too. I'm sure you'll be just fine."
She pulled her curly hair away from her face and pinned it securely. "But there will be so many new members. I've never been good at meeting new people."

**CHAPTER 1: NEW BEGINNINGS**

"Grandad, will you play with me?"
Duncan smiled at the little girl while he closed his book. His voice was chipper, as per usual. "Of course! What do you want to play?"
She gave him a mischievous look. "Will you play dolls with me?"
He grinned. "Of course, Sweetheart."
The minutes passed by far too fast while Duncan spoke in a high voice, and dressed Only Hearts Club dolls many times over. The two were so engrossed in their play that they didn't hear the knock on the front door, nor did they notice when the visitor let himself in.

Today I finish up the second week of grad school. For the first time of my life I am living away from home, ostensibly independent concerning my social, academic, and spiritual life, and even making a little of my own money (small though it may be). By the grace of God I was settled into the home of a remarkably charming and generous couple, complete with two delightful Australian Shepherds that remind me of my own two dogs I left back home. From there I can step out the front door and walk – to a literally colorful village on the ocean or a private, cliff-locked beach.

Like a bolt of lightning in the darkest of night
Let Your truth be the awakening that gives us sight
Let mercy show in glorious light
A prism of purity coupled with might
Let Your name be the sound that puts me in awe
Let me rest in You instead of visions I saw
Give me love in place of impulse to fight and claw
Let my life be Your image; pure and raw
Please help my tears to all be wiped away
Give me the grace to stand; not bend and sway
Grant peace when in troublesome fear I lay
Let me be content with doing it Your way