I wake up to the same old thing,
Hoping that maybe today's the day,
That I really start to live.
See, my heart's been broken;
It's been snapped in two.
And I was afraid to love,
Until I saw you...
We're dancing together,
And I know, that
This is where I belong.
We could go on forever,
Just you, me, and the song...
1. Exhausted
I used to put up with a lot
I used to brave the mood swings and the angry drunken tirades
Put a happy face on when I was shaking with fury
Stay united with my family while we all just watched
But now I’m making an executive decision
I don’t have to spend my time with people who make me crazy
So I’ll sit back in my cave and write about it.
1. I want to die on a beach
I want to die on a beach
Alone, the rain will pelt my smile
The tide engulfing my outstretched arms
The sand will wrap me up like a cocoon
When the lightning strikes, I will remember my life as it once was
The ocean will take my body and I will swim amongst the whales.
Warning: A strong PG, mild PG-13. If any of the following bothers you, don't read:
-Use of the word 'gay' to describe someone's sexual orientation in a non-derogatory way
-One religious exclamation
Thank you!
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Chapter One
I opened my eyes.
I was blinded by light. Not just any light—bright, clean white that smelled so pure it made my throat burn. There was an ache in my chest, one that stemmed from my very center, squeezing out painful shivers with every heartbeat.
1. On the Edge
I find myself running more and more
Constantly in fear that I won’t run fast enough
I’m having those dreams where I run to a cliff
And I can’t stop before I step off the edge.
2. Variables
Dare you to keep me in your head
Even if you’re too afraid to try
Variables are thrown in left and right
In our lives we may just have to let it go
Nearly close enough, but just a finger’s breadth out of reach
1. The Power
Hold our secrets in just a little longer
Don’t they always say that it can’t get any worse?
I’m starting to realize that I might just do anything for you
That’s a power that I don’t want to give
2. Rotten Memories
Spill out all the broken pieces, throw them in the trash
They can sit and rot and fester until the smell like week old oranges
I won’t shed a tear, nor will I blink an eye
1. No More Drama
Reflecting back, it seems so silly
All of the whining and the drama
It leaves an ache of embarrassment in my chest
But then I reflect further
Then I reflect deeper
And then I recall all the things that I felt.
2. The Flame
Let the flames lick the sky
Faces reflected, going down into the embers
It’s only certain things that set my heart on fire
Just before gets choked out by the smoke
3. The Sky is Falling
1. When Tomorrow Ends
I understand, I think
Why it seems like you can’t see
I guess I’m just wondering
When the goodbyes stop
And when tomorrow ends
2. Just a Little Closer
I see you closing the space between us
Your smile close to my own
You’re close enough that I could
Run my hand along your lips
I sense mowed grass
And a feeling of apprehension
What does this truly mean?
Feel like venturing to the notes at the bottom of the page before you read this? Please do!
__________________________
Angry Love
Choleric
Journal,
I hate you. I hate the way you make me feel about myself. When I flip through the pages the entries with all the lies pop out at me. It’s amazing how long it can take to write five sentences full of half-truths. It’s much harder to dress things up than it is to tell it like it is--raw, painful, and ugly.
I. Only wishes