A Fall May Come

Submitted by Sylver on Fri, 02/17/2017 - 00:29

For a fall may come and the tide may roll
Should I ever look back, I'll miss you so.
Can a child try to dream to reach his goals?
Should I run, run far back to land I know?

For a fall has come and the tide has turned
The fire within blazes too hot to hold.
How long will I stay before I get burned?
How long before my soul is sold?

For a fall may come and the tide may swell.
Should I ever look back, I'll wish you well.
A child can dream, he has a story to tell.
Running will surely end in hell.

Author's age when written
16
Genre
Poetry

Comments

James

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 02:26

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Wow... this was great! I really like the parallel thought in each verse, especially the first and last verse, where lines 2 becomes more confident in the third verse, and then lines 3 and 4 are questions that become answers.

And the imagery... I like how you combine "fall" with a picture of the tide coming in.

Great work!

<><~~~~~~~~~~~~><>
"The idea that we should approach science without a philosophy is itself a philosophy... and a bad one, because it is self-refuting." -- Dr. Jason Lisle

Madalyn Clare

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 02:39

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WHOA! I love this poem! It has a feel of literature, kind of story-like. I was drawn in on the first stanza! Great job!
Welcome to AP!

Introverts unite!
Separately!
From the comfort of your own homes!

Hannah D.

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 16:04

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This is really good! I love how the rhythm and rhyme adds to the drama of the poem's subject. Welcome to Apricot Pie, I look forward to reading more from you!

Sylver

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 16:30

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This was a bit of an older poem that I wrote almost two years ago, but I'm glad you like it. All of my stuff from now on will be current.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” - C. S. Lewis

Sarah Bethany

Thu, 02/23/2017 - 13:08

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This was great! Welcome to ApricotPie! -- I liked the fact that I didn't know whether you meant a downward fall or an autumn, and I liked playing with both ideas in my mind. I liked the longing and speculation in this. Thanks for posting and can't wait to see more!!